Re-ject-ion
I can’t even type it whole
I’ve never said it out loud
I’ve whispered it
Like some people whisper the
word ***
But I’ll never be bold enough
to just say it
It’s the most heart wrenching
word ever created
It consumes my every thought
Yet I refuse to acknowledge it
exists
I prefer the words desired, accepted, loved.

I do not want this word Re-ject-ion

Please,
Just send me away to sleep
To dream an empty dream
And sleep an empty sleep
No matter what awaits me on the other side,
It can't be worse than memories ringing in my ear
Familiar sights slipping out of my grasp
And replaced with the nightmare of my past
The ache of my whithering body ringing ripping every tendon
Ringing through every bone
I want to turn away from my mistakes
Run away from those who left me
Turn away from their mental glare

I just want it to end for a bit
Please
I just want to sleep

I wait until it's quiet
and you think your all alone
Reading, writing, drawing
or just talking on the phone

I sneak around so silent
you've no idea I'm there
until I pounce before you
as you jump out of your chair

You're mad and start to chase me
You think I run away
But the game is just beginning
I chose YOU to come and play

I hide under the couch
your looking in the room
I go under the table
you'll probably give up soon

I crouch as I get closer
you wonder where I've been
then I pounce right there before you
and the chase is on again!