Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Doy A Dec 2017
here.
take my anger
take my anxiety
take my insecurity
take what you will
take what you don't understand
and believe that you have saved me
from these demons that haunt me
believe that i will always need saving
that i will always be a victim
and when I smile, tell me that I'm faking it
or when I laugh, tell the world I must be losing it
take all my emotions against me
i was needy when i needed you
i was selfish when i didn't
so come on,
take this hurricane of emotions
take this.
Doy A Aug 2017
she's narrating the way
she's falling apart
with every word
they call her art

she called for help
they called it
poetry
can anyone ever separate
metaphor
from
reality

so she smiled instead
she was pretty instead
there was color instead
she was alive instead

they pat her back
well done
good work
relatable content

meanwhile she
is actively dismissing
the intent
to pack up and go
to quit and say no
to end it and skip it and leave it
so she penned it
posted it and shared it

if the only way
to break away
is this creative escape
she'll take it
any day she'll fake it
just to find a reason to make it
Doy A Jul 2017
the sky was the bluest it has ever been this morning
and it puzzled me how the temperature raised from 18 to 30 overnight

i turned in bed, as always you were drooling on your pillow
and i stretched my arms, it was green and purple and yellow

i always knew you were funny, had me laughing since the first day
you always had a punch line,
last night the punch line was my face

your audience was my body, your stage was this bed
your applause were my tears and this is what you said

"i love you but you're too sensitive. stop crying," you said
while your knees were on my shoulders, a pillow over my head

"you hurt me. you ******* hurt me," you said
as you spat on my face, said you wish i was dead

i always knew you were strong, with arms that made me feel safe
last night i discovered what it meant to be *****
Doy A Jul 2017
I wrote this poem for you
Knowing you'll never read it
I tried to rhyme my pain away
Knowing you'll never heal it

I start my day with you on my mind
Knowing you'll never be mine
I end my day trying to dream of you
Knowing it's the closest I can get
to feeling your warmth

I hurt myself now and again
Believing I will one day matter
Only to be dismissed too easily
Too small, too uninteresting
Not your type

Maybe tomorrow I'll realise how to stop measuring my worth
Based on how much time
and effort
and attention
you give me.
Maybe tomorrow you'll stop
being the subject of all this poetry.
I found this draft (first 3 stanzas) that I think I wrote in June 2016. I dont even remember to whom I wrote this for or why. Reading it feels to me like someone else wrote it.
Doy A Jan 2017
this is my apology for the way

my words are colder than my hands that refuse to be held

my body is tougher than my heart that needs mending

my mind is unhinged, now more than ever.
Doy A Nov 2016
I flipped through pages
of the years I've spent
in the arms of lovers who
promised me the sun and
the rest of the stars,
and with each turn I saw
the way I changed for you
and him
and him.
I confess, I swore you'd be the last one.
I confess, I prayed for you to come.
And you did.
And he did.
And he did.
Doy A Feb 2016
If there is one thing I learned from you,
it is how to read a map.
See, I've been lost for quite some time
Been trying to find my way through land mines
Dropped by men who uttered promises like they were prayers:
holy, sacred.
Been trapped in a maze that guaranteed no end,
like a white mouse finding his way towards his reward only to find out it's all just a test.
I've been doing this for so long that I can't even recall my tracks
when I wanted to turn back
Because when I look back
It's always too late, and I'm already in too deep in
the messes I've created for myself.
What I didn't know was that God created you...as if
he knew I would need your light to guide me
and your body to be the beacon that beckoned me
and as if God broke my heart on purpose before I met you
because you were meant to meet me after I
figured out how to fix myself.
No, you didn't fix me.
I wasn't the broken girl that needed mending
But I had a lot of questions
and you saw them in my eyes
But you didn't have answers right away.
No, we weren't love at first sight
or
fall in love over heels
and I wasn't a princess in the high tower
waiting to be called
what I'm saying is
We weren't a fairy tale
But sometimes, it feels like that to me.
I find it hard to believe how of all the paths I could've taken
My God pointed your way and said,
Hey, trust me, I know what I'm doing.
You taught me how to read a map,
To understand the direction
Towards where you and I are meant to go
Beyond all the mountains and seas we've been to
You taught me the coordinates towards
forgiveness
and patience
and maturity
and kindness
and above all,
love.
For Shao.
Next page