How many of ya have felt a lesson?
One that left you begging.
Begging for forgiveness
Hopeless and wish less
I've been at the bottom, cold and ******
felt like I had nobody
Had to pick it back up, learn how to jump, over the things that tried to stop me.
Remember passing out one night after sippin on pain
Falling asleep in the mist of her rain
Telling myself "boy, how you gonna make it?"
So many sleepless nights that my eye lids were always tired & complacent
And I'm impatient
No one ever caught a dream sitting and waiting
Held my breath for so long
I feel like fainting

But you gotta believe (yeah)
Your heart the only thing to help you achieve (yeah)
How can change without uncomfortablity? (Yeah)
Who cares what you want if you don't know what you need (yeah)
I've been loving a lieeee
I've been fooled by a woman's eyes
Her kiss gives me the best kinda high
Turned on by her infectious mind...
But she's gone
It's harder to watch em move on
Emotions can leave you drunk...
Their toxins fill up your lungs
Cupid is shooting his karma
All those past women I'm sorry for the past drama
Please can you forgive me?
Don't make me go down on my knees
My family finally accepts me,
As I've changed and killed off a man
A man that was vile and angry
A person I no longer am.
But I don't believe we change,
I think we have better control of our inner monster's reigns.
I still have urges and feel him rip on the chains
I'm afraid of his potential rage!
I've lost another idol... Left looking up to only one man.
Drew a collection of what I expected
But time showed me that true colors always win.
But I'm him...myself. I will become who I am...
Don't need a ******* idol...because I'm my own salvaged man.
(Echoed out)

(Dougie hit em with it)

Regression, depression
I've killed, been aggressive
I've struggle, I've hustled
Learned to relay the message.
Oh dear god show me the revering.
This soul is stirring, sins so reoccurring
My feet can't take the distance of this journey. Need to listen then speak, need to heal the weak. Need to follow my heart, need to plant my seed.
Need to encourage the change, fix a heart so derranged. They say once it's broken it is never the same. Need to learn to forgive, drop the baggage and live. There's a world that I'm missing, held back by my ignorance. I can feel, someone steal, the light to the end of the road... Put the light back on so the good is exposed. Let the fire just roast and the flames spark our past. Because without the spark no motvation would last. Believe in yourself and feel the future arrive! Because you need your passion and love for life in order to stand a chance and survive...
As I rise...
From the newborn ways of which I now chose to follow.. And watch the old me slowly die...
But is this okay for the world?
Why is imagination shrinking?
Our wandering thoughts are captured due to our distorted thinking..."

Let me go, what do you want from me?
Get me out! This is a crime? Cause of my mind!? Because all it is that I want...

--- I just wanna break free ---

I thought it was a mission...
A mission to your heart, your soul... Your ugly mind.
One that confuses and abuses what it is that was honest and genuine love that I carried for years and years only for you to help shed my tears and have them travel down the path in which they have gone before..

Down..

No more, NO!
Let me go. Keep my sweater and let it warm your cold, shiverish spew that you so soldemly spit when you share your venomous words.
You burned me..helped show and discerned me.
You allowed yourself to grab me like a rebound and then drop me...without there being any sound. No smack! No crash...just a silent shatter in which I'm still picking up the pieces of our fallen glasses...healing all the small cuts and closing my eyes in which I still hear your voice, see your whispers..."I love you"
(I laugh) (you lie)
Months and months later...I realized that I over exhausted my efforts in my tries.
I wanted to heal an already broken heart, dismantled mind
You wanted to drink your pain away and waste just a few more hours of our precious time.
Until that one time...no protection
No safety to what was penetrable in the lust of what was mistaken to be love... Transformed into hate. Into a whirlwind of fear. Into a reflection in which you and I stare... And months later... Now see nothing.
I cowered down to my knees and will never let you do that again, will never let you back into my soul...will never consider you a true and real friend.
Since you dissect only the what it is you need... In which it is your empty heart you feed, while your ignorance slowly bleeds...out. Black blood and darkness...an Angels dark kiss
In the mist she awaits...to hunt on yet, another hopeless mind.

Infatuation creates a shadow that makes us blind.

You were different, miss
You were insane, miss
You were an inspiration, miss
You were easy, miss
Simple, miss
You were...love, miss
Or was it hate, miss?
You were trapped freedom, miss
A dark dream, miss
A shallow bliss, miss

But I say goodbye, miss

Because the truth is, miss

You won't be,

*Missed.

I'm becoming a monster
I'm becoming a monster!

Clawed my way out the gutter
My rage is what allows me to conquer!

I'm becoming a monster.

I'm becoming a tyrant
RUN, RUN, RUN

old feelings and brains that are mindless
Love that grew old and moments that were timeless

I'M A MONSTER!

scripted in my own story to **** and defeat
destroy and watch the innocent decease.

I'm...I'm not a monster.

I am a victim

a victim to what every woman I have ever been with...
now perceives me as.

every friend that's ever judge me

every family member that's looked at me strange

deranged... yet, I was just misunderstood

or... am I a monster? I think not

(I transform)

Yet, the blood rushes through my veins
as I think of you in pain...
It's like a sudden high for me
to see your heart gasping for air and your mind trapped in chains
You're so vain. You're so weak!
my lips tingle and hands cringe when you speak.
You were an angel to me 8 months a go...now you're a demon who like the devil, reaps...what is it you seek?
INNOCENTS!
what is it you say... FINISH HIM.
Now you're scared...and you should be...

The tables have turned
I'm the monster now.
I will expose you!
it's your demising moment...I seek.

(transforms back)

I lost it...Control...Hope...Sanity...

Myself and now...

You.

but you were already lost

You were already gone.
My transformation was caused by you.

I'm not a monster...I'm a creation of your twisted dark fantasy,
of your poison.

**Because really...
             The monster...
                                  Is you.

I feel my heart beating slower deep inside of my chest
You can't accept me at my worst you won't be there for my best
Thinking less and less
Yet, I'm falling apart
The girl who I thought I loved blamed me for someone else breaking her heart
My friends get together and forget to mention my name
My mother only remembers the old me and reminds me of all her past pain
Calling on the sun but only getting the rain
Used to be obsessed with money and thought only respect meant fame.
****** I was wrong
I ripped up every old song
This shortness of breath is killing me and my days are becoming too long
"A man shouldn't shed a tear"
But I'm crying while writing this ****t
"Learn to gain control"
But I'm constantly losing my grip.
So much of the devil's toxins in my body that it's making me sick
Thought I changed who I was but the mirror is still showing me a *****
I can't say sorry anymore and I can't keeping apologizing
Feeling all your judgmental stares is beyond agonizing.
Lack of offered help ain't surprising
Thought I could pick up the pieces
Asked God for a lil help and he said "boy, you need Jesus"
Morally I'm a sinner and mentally a beginner
A carnivore stuck in a world of cantaloupe so I starve without dinner
Cause I feast on the flesh of the ignorant and blind souls
The ones that get stuck in their own way and can't do ****t on their own.
Please pick up the phone!
Suicide hotline!
These sharp thoughts are cutting me up and slowly killing my mind!
Running to the darkness but not a space to hide
My heart is begging me to stop feeding it hatred inside
So I..

I... Continue to try

But I still lack a lot of the visual qualities
Integrity, Confidence, Character and being able to fit in with society
Put the bottle down and prepared for a life of sobriety.

(Heart speeds up)

Where is this sudden strength?
Where does it come from?
It's the lowest times of our life's that test you in who you could become
And I wanna become great...nah, I wanna become good.

A good person, a good friend, a good man.
And do everything a good man should.

This a message that says no thing or person should ever break you and shatter you, to the point where you can't fix it.
It's not the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog that gets us through and wins it.

but I stopped fighting...I'm taking off now.

to the first flight on cloud 9
Because I'm finally at peace with myself, I found happiness, purity

I found...

Peace of mind.

I'm doing fine.

Don't play with her emotions,
Don't tell her it's all in devotion.
Gave her all to someone
Only to lose out on something
What is she becoming?
Girl, girl, girl...
Don't let him change you.
Abuse and derrange you.
Has someone told you "you're beautiful?"
Has someone held you this way?
Best part of the night is when you decide to stay...lay with me.
Kiss me slow
I promise to always, let you know that...
It's easy to pretend..
Harder to allow your heart to be sent.
Cause it's over worked from the past time it spent
Waiting on something,
Wishing on nothing.
Sorry, girl. I'm just making these assumptions.
Cause your smile is perfect but I can see pain
And your eyes shine bright but the forecast before only predicted rain.
And your mind seems clear but at times I can see the clouds...
So much change that she just wants to experience something that will stay around.
Oh oh yeah,
I promise to stay around.
Can you just let me in, oh
Let me hear the sound...
Of your heartbeat for me
As we motion like the sea
I need to complete me.
I promise I promise
Oh baby
Yeah,
I promise I promise
I promise I promise
He was cruel and dishonest
The only time I'll lie is if it's in the bed right next to you.
The only surprises you'll get is all your dreams slowly coming true
Oh oh
I just wanna give it all to you.
Oh oh
Can you please let me show you.
As we sit with the birds,
You're kissing me slow,
Let me slowly increase your life
Let's let the past thing all go.

Hmm

Baby, I just want you to know.

Give me some time and let it show.