Underwater there is no sound.
No echoes of voices and hatred and loud
Screams of past loves that knock on the door.
Deep under water, that's all from before.
There, you breathe - in and out in and out. There are no consequences, no shame, no doubt.
There I am free.
Yet
It remains.
A soft, subtle beat.
No matter the pain, regardless of name, it remains.
It just
Won't
Go Away
My heart kept beating,
Though I begged it not to stay.

Fifty innocent deaths
Are fifty deaths too many
They prove that the world still

Is full of hatred
I have a right to hate it
Proof: This blood spill

And now there is a lack of blood
Yet we are not allowed donate ?
O positive and O negative, oh

Mainly, I am positive that
This needs to change
**I am so sorry, Orlando

I had been walking for quite a while
It felt so nice, to once be moving without the fear
But I had yet again been walking on a cloud
Not even love could save me from the massive amounts weighing me down

I'm falling down again

I so often wonder what will become of me
If the ground will hurt me less when I reach it this time
But I know the pain will be as great as it always is
Not even my comforting thoughts can protect me from the ache I feel inside

I'm falling down

I want go back to the temporary happiness
Wanting to turn around mid air, wondering how cats do it
Of course I can't do such a thing
Not even a cat could turn to land safely on its legs from this fall

I'm falling

I see it getting closer and my denial grows
I feel myself losing ground before my body even reaches it
Why am I always such a fool to believe
Not even I could wake me from this nightmare that I seem to have gotten stuck in

I'm -

I've fallen.

Fake smile,
           Dried eyes,
                       Scratched wrists,
                                         Bruised thighs,
                                                         White pills,
                                                                      Rope tied,
                                                                                Gun loaded,
                                                                                                     *Suicide.

Suicide, Suicide be my guide.
Show me if its time.
In my room.
These retched cries.
Hear me scream, hear me cry.
My thoughts that torture me.
The ones I hide.
Tattooed on my arms.
The scars of a thousand knives.
My tears have finally run dry.
As I cry, on this silent night.
Suicide, Suicide. be my guide.
Show me if its time.
To stay or to die.

Waves crashing, upon my heart,
All I've come to know, was ripped apart,
My clean arms, have bleeding scars,
My thoughts, have been butchered,
Emotions never ending, bottled up inside,
The screams you never hear, the ones I always hide,
In this lonesome room, yet another,
Suicide.