He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come

I am not a poet
But when thoughts, like rain,
Drench me in my solitude,
Words, they flow like a stream.
I am not a poet
But how can I see
The simpler joys of life,
And not create a song to be sung.
I am not a poet,
Nor an artist.
I am myself,
And you are my masterpiece.
I am not a poet,
If you are not the dream.
If I am a poet,
*Then you are what sets these pages on fire.

Sipping midnight whiskey behind the typer,
staring at a blank spot on the wall,
fingers frozen to the keyboard in mid-sentence,
another wave of anguish
floods the mind.

The spot on the wall is a sounding board
to rail against enemies
and debate ideas,
and howl the cries of a madman
who will forever ponder
damaged souls left
in his wake.

Sins committed once belonged to others.
Then I learned how to inflict pain
in my own style.
Now, regrets languish
in *****-soaked reflections.
They stir quiet torment,
a just retribution
for honest men

I hardly knew you
And yet sometimes the wind
Decides to hit me in some way
And I remember that you're gone.

Sometimes someone mentions your name
Or I see a flower
For you were like a blossom
And I feel like someone has placed me in a dream

It's easier to forget that you existed
It's easier. If you were alive but just not around
I would hardly bat an eyelid.

It's just that every time I go back to the last place I saw you
I remember that I held your hand.
Could I have done something?
Could I have eased your pain?

I would do anything.

Standing on the beach where you died,
I wondered where it was that you took your final breath
And if it was your own decision.

You are among the faeries now, in the hawthorn,
The primrose blooms brighter now that you are in her earth
The birds sing with you
And sometimes I can almost see you among the trees,
Laughing as the wren dances.

I don't know where people go when they die
But I hope you're somewhere in the forest.

I can't stop wondering.

Who found you lying there?
When did your children hear?
I cannot begin to think,
For if you were my mother I would have loved you
Loved you to the deepest part of my heart

I will never know, because I am
And always will be,
Just some girl you saw once in a while
Shared a song and a kind word with
Shared some of your beauty with
And who wishes she had never met you

Because she can't handle the pain of losing someone that she would have loved if she had known she would die.

I send you my heart, in the words of this poem
please catch my dreams, in the starry sky
they are straight from my heart,
did you see the moon crying out our names
knowing our desires from afar
hanging from our sleeves
do you see Venus calling our souls
oh Dear Darling, what my heart did to me
when you had to leave...
Did my heart mention that I was foolish and cried
I was mistaking you for a star... I do not know why
except in my eyes you shine so brightly, I worship
you from afar...
My mind was clouded my eyes could not focus clear
for they had the tides of Neptune so concentrated
within a tear...
You see my darling, my love is true, since I met you
I fell in love that very night, when you said hello...
I want you with all our unbridled desires
in my innocence you once said, that arrives
with the springtime and just like our forbidden fruit
please become my final meal....
I try and compose melodies in those red creases of our hearts
as I remain inspired while I awake your awakening
even my skin lusts for your explicit touch...
As murmurs of combined passion become tidal waves
our souls are the split between the framework and doors
and I wonder unescorted through our Fragant Gardens of life....
My Darling, I send you this letter tucked inside my heart
I love you dearly I hope you see~
_________________

Deare­st, I answer your words
Your heart is dreaming a beautiful dream
With moon and the stars in your eyes
Your mind is filled with ecstasy
You are a woman in love - no alibi's ~
In the garden among the blossoms
You make the flowers blush .
In the bedroom you exhibit innocence
Until as a woman you experience the ultimate rush.
Lust is a powerful force
Awakening the beast with two backs
Sometimes giving you the courage
The other woman in you lacks -
Today a letter came from your world
Words of love shining like wet ink on the page
You wow all of my senses
Graceful - like a star on my stage ~
Your Love~

I could be heartless
I could reply with who is this
And some part of you would shatter
knowing that I have attempted to remove you from my life but
the truth is you are still on my phone as much as you are on my mind
There, but not given much attention
Sure, you exist, but only quietly

I think of you sometimes like when my toes are touching sand or
when I have a glass of maker's mark in hand or
when I hear your name in someone else’s mouth
But to be completely honest
I am not broken over this

So your hello comes a few months too late and mine from a few months before has been left without response
I could say hey I miss you too but
that would be considered a lie
Maybe I do now and then but mostly
I only miss you when there is nothing else to miss

Like a vague memory of something that used to sit in the corner of my room
I know it was there but I don't remember much else about its presence
I don't know what to say after it’s been almost a year
I waited for you, too long but
I am not broken over this
Summer has passed and another is coming,
Maybe I will find another you in the next

When you send me a text five months too late I will not be heartless
I will say hello like time hasn’t added pressure on the ache, like
maybe I could still love you the way I did yesterday and
some part of you would be whole knowing a part of me is living in the past,
where we are alive together

I couldn't wait for the day the sun didn't feel like it was trying to burn me, or for the day the rain wasn't trying to fill my lungs. I couldn't wait for the day the highway wouldn't sound like it's calling me to play with it, or the day sidewalks quit threatening to swallow me whole. There was something about the way my fear of love made the words wrap themselves around my vocal cords. I'm sorry I've never been able to get those three words out without sounding like I'm going to choke. I couldn't wait for the day my love for you didn't feel like a consequence or for the day I could convince myself that what you felt for me was real. The truth is I'm not used to people staying longer than I'm able to hold myself back from pushing them away. I got in the habit of writing my love to you on the parts of my skin that I'd never let you see, so that tearing off my clothes would be the easiest way to show you how I feel. My veins are filling with ink now, a mix of red and blue filled with words left unsaid. Some nights I talk to the walls, some nights they tell me about where your knuckles made dents when I'd whisper in my sleep about leaving you; I never really thought you'd be the first one out the door. Loving you was making excuses. Loving you was throwing diamonds in wishing wells, knowing my hope wasn't worth the price. Sometimes when the highway calls me, sometimes when the sidewalks threaten to swallow me whole, sometimes when the rain fills my lungs with water;  letting you go looks a lot like the final death of me.

And none of them realize
The effort it takes to get out of bed
To go outside for the day
And face all of my fears
None of them realize
How tiring it can be
To pretend.