we are all running around, blind
in a place so fragile
this world
all these lies

the darkness comes from inside
and i can feel it tonight
so hold on
hold on tight

i remember the ways we touched
every time
as if it was our first time
together as one

i cannot begin to explain
the feelings i feel today
i have nothing here without you
i have no spark to inspire my day

Im fragile,
My heart is to the sky.
I am open, alive, and exposed in the night.
The world is bright, the sun is out
But I am hurt so I will shout
A cry
Of distress
In a bright yellow dress.
I sing a song of defeat
With a crowd before me
Who applauds for the melody,
I need a remedy.

I dont remember what I came here for
My heart is deaf from the sound of
slamming
doors.

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

i used to be
afraid of death
isn't that funny
because now
i like killing myself
i like the feeling of
being torn apart by
other people's opinions
i beg them to tell the truth
even when i know
it's not what i want to hear
tell me
tell me you liked my hair longer
before i cut it short
tell me
tell me i'm too skinny
that i should put on some weight
tell me
tell me you're shocked
tell me i should know these basic things
i want the truth
not a sugar coating
and i don't exactly want it to hurt
but i'm starting to think
it is better than nothing

I was falling for you faster than I ever had before,
You tore my walls down ,
by being yourself,
your embrace was my castle,
And you were the guard,
I blindly trusted you to protect what matters most to me,
you see ,
I guess we were not meant to be,
but what to I do with this half finished symphony,
I tattooed onto my heart,
your memory haunts me,
on the basement couch,
where you heard my thoughts in silence,
and held me as i cried,
after you discovered one of my demons,
In the campfire smoke,
that stings my eyes,
the same way the tears do  ,
You haunt me in the constellations,
I feel you as i sit amongst the grass,
we used to lay upon the grass,
tangled in blankets,
and the warmth of the other,
we used to talk,
we never did stop,
until you let worry silence you,
I don’t let what i can not control have power over my voice,  
I wonder what your doing,
I went from ridding shot gun,
to driving three cars behind,
you placed me in your blind spot,
now all I get are snapshots,
on Snapchat and Instagram,  
I’m left wondering who I am to you,
I hope I’m not just “some girl I knew”

i want to think in philosophy,
to speak in prose,
to act in proverbs,
to admire in odes.
i want to love in sonnets,
to feel in poetry,
i want there to be literature
in every part of me.

I get all overwhelmed when there's too many people.
There's too many feelings, too many thoughts,
That I wish I could feel, I wish I could read.

Too much voices, forcing their way in my eardrums,
demanding me to listen.

This is why I hate crowds,
This is why I value solitude.

My heart can never contain too much of things,
It just doesn't know what to do with it.

My palms, aren't wide enough for something too monstrous.
My lungs aren't big enough for your tornado,
instead of filling me, you're actually suffocating me.

I'm not asking for everything,
But at least, give me **something.