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DancingEnt Jun 2018
I've never acknowledged my depression
And as soon as I do
BOOM
It's here
I want to die
But I dont really
I just want to stop hurting
And sometimes I just want to feel something
And right now it is both
My heart hurts and my body feels numb
Theres a pit in my stomach that cant be filled up
I feel like I'm void
Of everything but sadness
Like I'm a black hole for happiness
I used to be "happy"
But now I know it was just a mask
Because everything was buried
And now it's on the surface
And I just want it gone again
I want to pretend like I dont care that I dont have friends
I want to go back to when nothing phased me
I thrived on stress and I didnt go crazy
I was used to abuse so I was never really me
I had created my own alternate reality
One without **** and drugs and alcoholism
One where I didnt stand up and I just took the hate and criticism
One where I was sad all the time
But I was so busy pretending to be "happy"
That I didn't notice.
I'm grateful to be at a point where I can feel like I'm myself. But I'm also terrified because so many things are coming to the surface and I'm afraid you're going to run and hide. I dont want to lose you but I keep pushing you away and one day you're gonna say "I'm done" and that's it. My biggest fear will be realized ten-fold because I'll be without you and I'll die sad and alone.
DancingEnt Jun 2018
Is it worth it to
Hurt the one you love so that
Your hurting can stop?
Is it though? Asking for a friend.
DancingEnt Jun 2018
And it's so hard to
believe him 'cause everyone
Else before him lied
DancingEnt May 2018
I make your life so
Much *******. Please just forget
Me, let me go
DancingEnt May 2018
But think about the freedom
You won't have to listen to me bicker
You won't have to deal with me getting upset
about every. tiny. thing.

Sure you might be sad,
but just imagine how much easier life would be
not having to impress me
not having to do things for me
not having to be my only support

Sure you might be sad,
but think about how much lighter
your shoulders will be without my burdens
just feel them all lift, and never return

Sure you might be sad,
but some day you'll realize your life is better
some day you'll move on and you'll forget me
just think about the freedom.
Totally didn't cry while writing this
I'm not good enough I can't do this I have no talent They won't care
  a                                                           ­                                                   I       
m                                    I'm locked inside a cage                                 m 
a                                         that I built myself                                        p   f                                         But I can't get out                                         a  
a                                             I can't escape                                             t
i                                         from my own mind                                      h
l                                                              ­                                                    e
u                                                 Help me                                                 t
r                                                I'm trapped                                             i
e          ­                                                                                                       c
I would never make the diference I'm dumb I can't write I'm done
-Im suffocating here
DancingEnt May 2018
You picked up pieces
Everyone else smashed, and you
Filled the gaps with you.
You put all my broken pieces back together and made my heart bigger adding yourself.
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