Your blood cascades through your cuts,
I don't dare ask if it hurts,
Because I know you can't tell apart,
Whether it's the cut,or your heart,
Yet I beg,keep those blades away,
For you can rive yourself a million time,a billion way,
But the blood you'll bleed would still be red,
As your blues would only continue to suffocate.

Why should not
A  man

Experience

Briney beauty

Of emotional
Release

Even though I've held it before,
the gun felt heavier
And even though it was still cold,
the handle felt warmer than usual
As if it knew what was going to happen
and didn't like it

I placed the barrel to my head
And took a deep breath
As two thoughts came to me
There's no reason to hope..
Nothing will change..

i am not the kind of sick
that leaves the body flushed
at 104 degrees
in the middle of the winter.

                                                               ­                  i am not the kind of sick
                                                            ­                         that causes every breath
                                                          ­          to force
                                                           ­         its way

                                                               ­    back up

                                                             yo­ur throat
                                                          ­             while dragging razor blades
along the inside of your neck.

                       i am not even the kind of sick
                       that comes with a vaccination
                                  or an antibiotic
                            that will chase it away.
no.
                                                                ­                          i am the kind of sick
that leaves you locked in
the bathroom during class
because you can't seem to stop the
             flow of tears
                       running
                               down
                                     your face.

i am the kind of sick
that leaves your hands
sweating
and your voice
shaking
when it's your turn to order dinner
at the diner you've been to
a thousand times.
                                            
                                             i am the kind of sick
                                         that leaves you feeling

l o n e l y
                                              in a crowded room
                                           filled with the people you've
                                           known your whole life.

i am the kind of sick                                                                  ­                                that nobody sees
                                        because it's all in my head
                                      and cannot be cured.