Your soul is in clothes
Fine Lenin to cover your ligaments
It was your God on Sunday
Prayed to it on Monday
Emotions could be felt in your denim
In the stitches of the fabric pumped life like they were your veins  
Heartbrokenness comforted in your tight boyfriend jeans
In your back pocket sat your heart
Where it couldn't be seen
The expensive products you powered yourself in made you feel like a queen
Inside these clothes you were royalty
It gave you power
Smirked at those who looked in awe
A sin if you didn't look good
You were strong in your religion
Curses those who didn't dress like you
This was your life
An you would sacrifice it all to look this nice

Away from the beach
Couldn't stand the stickiness of the sand
Beneath the waves
Lost between the tides
When the ocean waves rise
A step out to sea
Hoping to walk upon the water
Trying to break the borders of this world
But instead of gliding
You sinked
Like you had concrete on your feet
And as you looked down
It was your hands pulling you
Helping you drown
As the water filled your lungs
You finally felt full
The weight of emptiness
Heavier then you predicted
Frustrated cause you wasn't blessed with the gift of being optimistic
So you just sit there
Floating
Sinking deeper in the ocean
Not waiting on a savior
That would mean you've been hoping
Cursed with this feeling that you have to do everything alone
And the lack of cure for this curse
Has made this curse strong
It Imbedded itself in your bones
Suspended in animation
Carried by the ocean

Anger in me rages like flames
Compressed inside a cage within me
But it pulsates like a heartbeat
To much for the steal to take
The cage melts back then break
What's the purpose for this rage
It just causes pain
An scorches everything inside me
Insides like a desolate plain
And what's strange
There's nothing strong enough to extinguish this flame
This plague
Afraid you'll get burned
So I warn you away
There's danger if you step behind the caution lines
So beware
Of this rages that roars in the flames

Only when I slumber I find peace
A way to escape this world when I sleep
My soul at ease
Finally
As I lay there meditated
And my heart beats in serenity
And while I dream the stars phase through the clouds
Comforting the ground
But when I shift
The stars spark and turn into flames
Then nightmare creeps around
Like a ghoul
Breath from its nose flashes like lightening
Devastation In my hibernation awake  
Like a grumbling grizzly
When I sleep
But only in its hibernation is a grizzly at peace

Every
Individual
Has
Something to offer to mankind;
He must be groomed with this purpose and this thinking be developed  in his mind!

He found me in the woods,
One day
Said he knew I was afraid.
Still,
The warmth of his hand on mine
Chased all my fears away.
He left in my palm
An arrowhead,
A gift of strength, of courage,
Of art.
I've since placed it on a chain,
and worn it near my heart.

Born in hate
Plagued by it if you had darken skin
It was the shackles around there feet
When they were forced to walk down dirt roads
It was the word at the end of whips
As is carved through the skin
Laughed as blood dripped
Mixing with the mud
And splashing on the leaves
When they misbehaved
It was the noose tying word as they hung from trees
Made to keep them from being free
An to keep them stained with fear
Made to punish
As they were sprayed
Whispered in the ear of canines
As they were sicked on them
Created to ******* as they were beaten
Back then the word was made to abuse
Theses days it's stamped as just a word
But it's more then that

I knew a dangerous man.
You wouldn't know what he was.
But I could see the tight clench of broken fists.
The ****** tape carelessly wrapped around the
bleeding breaks in his hardened knuckles.
A murderers kiss is a rush.
It is a pool of water so hot it feels cold.
When was the last time you kissed someone
so passionately it caused your hair to stand on end?
It caused a chill down your spine- quick and ruthless.
I wasn't scared of dark eyes or dark mouths or dark hearts.
I wasn't scared of a bullet or a gun or an ******
that starts with a rope and a whip and
ends with bruises and my body pressing into broken drywall.
I smile at the danger in the threat.
Our intensity crumbled our surroundings.
We were the flash. The flame.
He was the thrill, I was the ******.
Have you ever wondered what hell was like?
People don't speak of the days they spend there.
They don't talk about the tortured memories that keep them awake.
A smoky afternoon and broken glass.
Cigarettes flung out the window with your decency.
Mangled innocence is okay as long as you
keep it contained enough to sweep out of the room after you're done.
Eyes like a black hole. Shaking desires.
And when he says beg, you close your eyes and feel the fire.
Have you ever loved a wild man?
Have you made him moan in the dead of night?
Have you ever been a pane of glass?
Have you ever had a brick thrown through you and been alright?
Have you ever known a bleeding devil and made his bed your home?
Have you licked his blood and tasted your doom?

i apologise,
i'm well aware
it's illegal to use
pictures of people
without their permission,
but your image
wanders through my
fantasies with no
regard for roadblocks
or boundaries, and
frankly, i'm tired
of throwing photographs
away.

Fits of rage goes off inside my head
I can't tame me
There's an empty cage open
But I can't find a clue what's been set free
Hidden away inside me
Every once in awhile it goes on a spree
Crippling the good part of me
So I've been corrupted from the core
From this unknown disease
Spawned inside  
Pumping through my veins
Any good intentions by another is in vane
They can't be trusted in my brain
I'm my own worst enemy
The inner me
Jealous what it sees on the outside from within
Wants me only for itself
So it fends off anyone else
Because it wants my by myself

This is what I want to go out to
With a pen
In my palm
As I choreograph each line
For the last time
Hoping what I write fills you of me
One last poem one final time
Powerful enough you can hear the rhyme
As the words project from the screen
So you can visualize what I mean
And as I take my last breath
I'll leave it unfinished for the next

My eyes burn
Like smoldering ashes have been thrown on my chest
I now know it's time for me to rest
But thoughts mock me when I try to sleep
They bear down hard
Like a car moving downhill
There's a turtle in its way
Then I awake
And I realize that I mistake
What I thought was reality
Was just a dream
But it frightens me because I don't know what it means
And as I think
It stops me from going to sleep
But I still remain sleepy