You've broken my heart,

You've made me cry,

I should be bitter (Shouldn't I?)

But I'm still alive,

And I've realized,

You'll never be less,

In my eyes.



When you ask,

Why you're still alive,

I'll answer with,

"Because you shouldn't die"



You'll change your ways,

But not for long,

I'll ask you why,

and you'll ramble on,

about how you feel,

and with a tear in my eye,

I'll say,

"Enough! Please!

Don't make me cry!"



You'll try to change,

Yet once again,

But you'll grab that bin,

Wanting to be thin,

You'll cry out,

Ana wins.



I'll come back,

I won't give up hope,

I know somehow,

Maybe, you'll cope,

Maybe, someday, you'll make it through,

Because I can't, without you.



I know you still have it,

That urge,

To grab the blade,

I know it's a feeling,

You'll never evade.



But if I could tell you one thing,

Dear,

It would be,

Do not fear.

The Lord will help you,

And so will I,

So do not cry,

Dry your eyes.

I have a best friend, a sister really,

So I wrote her this poem, it's nothing silly,

If you knew her you'd know,

She's really pretty,

I mean really, abnormally,

But she doesn't believe it,

She asks why doesn't that size fit,

But I wish she could see,

that she is perfect the way she was made to be.

The word ***** is engraved into my hip
done by a blade, on yet another hopeless night
The word fat is carved onto my thigh
screaming out the pain I felt
My name is sketched between my legs
written in blood, in remembrance of a girl no more

I'm stupid, I'll be the first to admit it
I'm fat, I'll tell you in a second
I'm ugly, I've been told that for years
I'm worthless, Just a waste of space.

All of those words
They play in my head
Torture me day in, and day out
Make me lie to those who love me, and those who don't.

I make people worry,
I'm not proud of that.
I hide even the most basic things,
It's the life I've chosen to live.

Very few people
Know what's going on inside
What happens when no-one's around
What I always hide.

Many have suspisions
A few might even be right,
But I'll never confirm it
I have to stay safe.

I'm a *****
A ****
Fat
Ugly
A liar
Cutter
Suicidal
"Emo"
Stupid
Worthless
A loser...
The list can go on for days

One day I'll be perfect
I'll show them all
I'll be worth something
And never look back.

I told you

just the other day

that I wanted to be a movie star

if only I was pretty



you stared into my eyes

and asked if my mirror was broken

'cause I looked straight off the runway stunning

I rolled my eyes

and said stop with the lies

I just want to be pretty



A few days later

I wanted to be a model

goodbye food,

hello gym

I said I could do it if I was pretty



you slapped me so hard

trying to bring me back to reality

but it was too late

she was already controlling me



Two weeks later

I'm told I'm gonna die

if I keep this up

but I want to become a singer

and a dancer

so back to the bathroom

goodbye binge



You took me to the ER

where people stopped and stared

at the girl who would do anything

to believe she's pretty