In my veins you flow.
In my mind you run.
In my heart you live.
In my soul you exist.

Redundancy.
I read my words
and I’m sickened,
that you had this
effect on me. I read
them and I’m fatigued
by the redundancy.
I have nothing to say
that hasn’t been said
in the same way
only reconstructed
to better play the illusion
of new ideas and
some sort of change.
There is always the basis
the substance of being
the substance being
my overactive feelings
and constant repression
of what makes me alive—
this feeds the depression
and I cry when I think
and I’m dead when I don’t
I’m lying when I speak
and lying when I don’t
I’m fighting every day
my feelings when I
have them, and finding
every day, I have more than
I can fathom, and I can’t
always put into words
how or why I feel things
so I tend to repeat
what comes naturally
and when I reread
I am exhausted by
my own redundancy.

I come into a place
where everything is floating
It is a dark place for me,
nothing will pass into my liking

The houses are haunted
and thorns are everywhere
It is like a dangerous forest,
all paths lead to nowhere

At first I am scared
and I want to run away
Creatures have different languages,
I don't understand what they say

Everyone seems grinning
Like they want to tear me apart
What else would I think and do
If I feel they would break my heart?

But I have nowhere to go
so I decided to take the risks
I am scared but there's little courage
I am gripping with my fists

With the flicker of hope I wander
to study the mysterious place
Bit by bit I learn something,
enough to cope within each phase

Until I find little creatures
that thriving on a haunted tree
When I stop nearer to them,
they seem so scared, so afraid of me

I feel that sadness, I am bothered,
why they're afraid, I'm just harmless
My little hands could do nothing,
I just want to watch them exist

But  suddenly one of them comes
closer and flies in front of me
I realize it want to be handled
so I open my hand and let it be

It settles down on my open hand
while I walk around, it is my light
And I'm thankful for the little lamp
now I have lessen my fright

A little light that gives me hope
it makes me strong and lessens my load
That tomorrow I can find the way
to get out of this darkest road...

Please stop playing games
isn't my heart bruised enough?
have I not bled rivers
for you to bathe in?

“I am not a toy”
and when you twist the knife
I feel it

I need peace
and your song
keeps me swimming
to the deep end of despair

Please stop laughing
once you've made me cry
these tears taste like oceans
and I am more than ready
to drown in them

The house I have built within myself for you
is not an empty nest
It's cupped palms that hold water just fine
a cool, stone cage for a hummingbird
the door is open
I am waiting for the right moment to fly

as the tide rushes outward
its foam signature remains
on the infinite shoreline
like our memories

dear friend do not loose hope
someday the shards of broken pieces
will be lifted out and placed
to create something new
a beautiful tapestry of color
and life lived through pain
to create a beautiful
mosaic