Emotions are stripped
from lyrics. No angst
or panting over doves
dresses the lines of verse.
It's dissecting, inspecting,
and by all means one's thinking
on the condition,
for now,
we'll call love.

I opened myself up and pulled my ribs to the side
        Trying to find something that matters.
                   Something to stick to.
A religion,               a belief,
                |Anything
And in the              dark empty space
                |I found
Whatever                  led me to understand who I                                Thought I was
                **|was already dead.

Unable to breathe
My heart, in a state of panic
My soul, half joy/ half pain
With the darkness a true void
And the light, divine
So twisted in two
That breaking is imminent
Which survives
Darkness...
Or
Divinity
For to live as two
Is not living

maybe the end is coming,
but for me,
i'm stuck in the long haul
feeling like i can't pick up my feet
time is dragging on
and it's dragging me forward
whether i like it or not,
the sun will set and i'll be in the dark,
again.

Today I'm craving touch
I'm craving that the outside world will remind me I'm real
Or maybe I'm craving the absence of
The world
Maybe I'm craving the absence of myself
Maybe I'm craving to disappear

Today I'm craving knowledge
The knowledge of what I want

From love no one can run away; being lost by you, it's for another to be found.
Those days of love will not repeat, alas it's memories cannot be ever drowned.

Weeping turtles
On angels' wings
Electric harps
And choir sings
Traveling time
Remembering
As an era
Comes to close

French chabot
In fruited hues
Revving engines
With horses used
Nothing that
Compares 2 U
And songs
We'll never know

From pain
Was born a troubadour
Pushing limits
Breaking doors
Supernova
Evermore
Songs with
Silent lines

A legend lost
Within the mist
Of mewling souls
Interminus
Taking time
To reminisce
The party ends
In nines

Anorexia was the most attentive
Girlfriend anyone could ask for
And I fell hard for her
I fell for for 500 calories a day,
The sense of control it gave me
Compliments from girls I'd never talked to before
Doctors so pleased that I was finally "healthy"
That feeling,
Of stepping on the scale
And realizing that I took up less space
Than when I'd stepped on the day before
The feeling of water hitting an empty stomach
The hunger pangs
That secretly thrilled me
The thrill of the lies
The ones that became ever so easy
To slip off my tongue
The thrill of a secret love affair with death
I fell for an abuser
I fell...
Literally
Bruises lined my body
From bumping into walls
Because my body was so
Malnourished I couldn't
Walk down a hallway
Fell down a rabbit hole-
Fell down into a world I couldn't escape-
Thigh gaps, thinspiration, tips and tricks to
Hide this wonderland in your head
Walking headfirst into Anorexia was like walking
Into a haunted house
It's fun and exhilarating at first
It's a game, it's harmless
And then you realize that the doors
Are barred and it dawns on you
That ringing the doorbell of death
Was not the best idea
I am a study in skinny does not make you happy
The 5 pounds you wanted to lose
Turns to 10
Turns to 20
Turns to...
I am a study in
Every inch of your body being a warzone
Of standing in front of a mirror
Seeing nothing but a piece of meat
Taking up too much space
I am a study in calculation
I am a study in lying
I am a study in not dead, but not alive
I am a study in starvation
I am a study in falling out of love

would it be alright if i
took the time to uncork my heart
and spill the contents through its narrow spout—
can i pour out my soul to you?