When lamination slowly starts to creep
We weep
We seek
To release
We're meek
Helpless
Sleep sleeplessly
Terrible dreams
We seek what they mean
Froze
Stuck
In our lamination
Paralyzed in our dreams
Rainbows and unicorns were not in them
And if they were they were what led me to these nightmares
Nightmares when I try to run
Try to scream
Try not to stare at the rising sun
My lips blue
lying on the beach
Skin pale and sand smeared lips
Eyes unblinking
almost vacant, but not quite

There's still life!
My body rarely barely breathing
So still that it's eerie
My brown eyes almost vacant and unmoving
I know I'm there
I can hear the ocean
I can feel the morning breeze brushing my sand covered face and the strands of my hair
The problem is that it isn't me
There's no way I'm this beautiful or pale
Yes, I'm almost dying
But she's not me
Her skin is a white porcelain
Her eyes are the only thing of mine that's hers
Her hair brown
Her figure slim yet curvy
I'm in her body
I remembered
My body changed
But not my soul
This is me
The opposite of me
In a parallel universe who almost succeeded in what I did
*My soul was showing me what my other me did too

Sometimes I feel a little lost,
inside my body, my mind,
like someone's stole the map,
and tore down the road signs,
like I'm living with a stranger,
and there's no thrilling sense of danger,
just sheer fear,
when i pull myself close,
and discover I'm nowhere near.

Honey take away the blade
From those innocent little wrists
You're far too precious
To hurt yourself like this.
Baby, take your fingers
From down your throat,
You're far too beautiful,
To make yourself gag and joke.
Sweetheart, empty those pills,
From your hands
You're far too gifted
To slip through the sands
Of time.
Darling, take the fist away,
From your head,
Your far too special,
Take your fist to a pillow instead.
Angel, take all those self destructive thoughts and hold yourself in your arms,
You're worth so much more and deserve so much better,
than to cause your self harm.
I promise.

today,
i heard that you had
a bike accident.
you hit your bike
into a **** tree.
what were you focused
on, that you didn't
notice a **** tree?
maybe it was her.

she always catches your attention,

Bewitched by your soul
I crave to know your gift
Your gift of knowing me
Owning me, filling me
Did you glamour me?
Or did I entrance you?
Your leadership of me
Makes it hard to resist
Your charm, your craft
I'm charmed by your knowledge
Enraptured by your mask
What are you?
Should I feel horror?
I feel so at home in your arms
Which of us is the witchery spirit?
Are you a warlock?
One that has locked me in a battle of need,
need of you?
Or am I the enchantress that has hexed you?
We cannot be parted, we are one
I am undone
Sorcerer of me
What is under your cloak?

Cut to the quick
With bluntness

Put down several hundred pegs
Where I languished
Shredded, unravelling

Until the fabric
Of my being
Was reshaped
Resewn

everything we made together kept breaking, and now i think it was a sign.

Don't ask me what it is like to love someone
I have thrown the word love away
Like they do colorful beads at Mardi Gras
Abundant and beautiful
Yet no one throws them back
Don't ask me what it is like to love someone
I have waited by too many telephones
I have kissed too many of the wrong people
Hoping to find one who's lips might taste like his
Like craving something you're allergic to
Yet still giving into the temptation of eating it an suffering anyways
Do not ask me what it is like to love someone
Because I have not experienced real love
Real love is when it is returned
Having the one who's eyes look like the sunrise
The one who's walk makes you want to follow behind them
The one who had a smile that can reignite a fireplace
Having the one who makes your heart melt like ice cream on a summer day love you as much as you love them or even more
That is real love
And I am not familiar with something so precious
Because the one who stimulates my well-being is too busy
Following someone else, someone who is nothing like me
And yet still I wonder if he is taste testing too

I have a cold heart
I have a cold soul
I guess thats what happens when
The love I once knew becomes
Nothing more than burnt out wood
From the fire we lit
One night in the middle of last summer
The fire that got washed out cause the rain poured down that night
I wish our love was still like a burning fire
So warm and bright
Inviting and alive...

It's raining, it's storming
The tools are conforming
Society will be the death of me
Please pills, don't let me wake in the morning
It's sleeting, it's snowing
Their plastic smiles are glowing
Put your make up on, dignity gone
Make sure your "made in China" tag isn't showing
Its windy, the sun is shining!
Their ignorance is blinding!
No hope for mankind, I've lost my mind
There is no silver lining

Looks I was given, words received
Sunk in deep
I felt as much use as a chocolate teapot
As resilient as a glass hammer
Looking much like a dogs dinner
As fragrant as a refuse truck.
Insightful as a blind guide dog
Buoyant as a lead balloon
I sank deep

My bounce lost,
like a concrete trampoline
Lost my grip
like a fumbling toothless vampire bat
Feeling as welcome
as a fur coat worn
In a vegan cafe.

Now resurfacing
I know that there's no use
in contriving to feel bad.
I'm going to either
line my chocolate teapot
to make it work
or savour every bite of it!