Getting things tangled in my hair again like
chaos,
sunlight,
and the memory of your hands
You're the ache that rests in my mouth when
I fall short of beautiful words
You will remain familiar
yet a mystery to me like
the soft edges of sunrise like
the reason dead stars only shine in the dark

what would i give
to wake up next to you
fingertips dancing on hips
as curtains give way to sunlight;
the world,
a wonder of sight?

what would i give
to drown...
in the crook of your neck
or the streams of your laughter
as you lurched your body forward
and laughed
with all your might?

what would i give
for our souls to entwine
the raggedness of your breath
spilling into mine?

what would i give
to be given a gift;
to weave another reality;
craft a different mentality;
build a sanctuary;
one with you and me
our confined souls broken free?

just what would i give
just what should i find
to redraw the line
for this silly popstar love of mine?

I was never one to listen to love songs,
I never had a reason to.
but the moment I laid eyes on you,
I longed to take in the lyrics in the dark,
with my fluttering heart and a great-big smile plastered on my face.
you made me a sappy school girl,
foolish and in love.
giddy and full of day dreams.
you made my summertime filled with sunshine,
your smile lit up the room,
and I wish we could both say “I do.”

break up with him/her
you deserve better
move out
Get a job
smile
everything will be okay
a bad day isn't a bad life
college isn't forever
you can't make people care
you only control you're happiness so make it count
go out and get what you're worth
leave the past in the past, you can't change what happened but you can change the outcome of the future
not everything is meant to be
saying you can't has already defeated you in the beginning
you either get bitter or get better
the choice is not up to fate, It belongs to you

she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.

I need to heal
For real this time
Not with a smart mouth
And a friendship
With flirtatious banter
No that never helped me
How do you heal
When his best friend is desperately in love with you
And acts as your best friend
And leaves you a few months later
Because he rushed into this
And he realizes now you were never ready
But you told him that
You told him that the twenty times he begged you to be his girlfriend
Does no one understand
I was so tired
So tired of the begging
It became so much
I caved
And then it all happened so fast
It's all a blur really
My heart was never in it
He was my best friend
*** felt weird
Everything felt wrong
I guess the hormones were there
But it felt wrong
I'm so insecure
I was never ready
And now he's gone
Because of my insecurities
He promised he'd never leave
He was so in love with me
How does that just change
How
So quickly
Now I'm broken
Broken by my savior
Broken by everything
How do I heal now
How
Someone tell me please
I need answers
That's all
Please
How do I heal?
How do I be my own hero?

the sun drips
like
a
yellow yolk

oozes
down
the gold knots
of my spine
breathe the first of Spring days
the radio plays our favorite song

i see you backwards
quickly
all the times we had
vulnerable;
gone.

the sky is blue, the lake is blue
your eyes are blu
and they say i look like your
sister
oh gods. help me
i can’t feel anything
except you
and everything here is you

In the in-between stage where there is just enough alcohol in my veins to try and convince me that what we had was good.
The sweet spot.
Too little or too much and all I see is the problems and why it ended in goodbye,
but here-
here I see “hey princess”-
all the “I love yous”
“I’d do anything for you”
“You’re worth it, no matter the cost”
and I know in an hour or two I’ll be thinking clearly again-
but **** right now-
I know why I stayed for so long.

a ghost white fluffy fluff **** ball of fur
kneading on my thigh
want to smack it and knock it off
but it’s purring and it’s warm

my friends have the cute
meow meow meows
and feeds it a lot so I pet the kitty
when I’d rather fall asleep or pet you

Soon, it jumps off the bed
presumably to race up and down
the stairs at night, watch the ghost
floof away— its fur hiding its legs
and looking like a hovering white cloth