Searching, rummaging through slides of memories,
Hoping to find her place of sanctuary.

The need for love, for ultimate acceptance,
The warmth of family of own bloods presence.

Alone, burrowed in her hopes and dreams,
A heart empty, broken at its seams.

Despite the failed promises and torn wishes,
She carves and stitches the shattered pieces.

I throw my phone,
Crashing against the wall.
I cry,
And scream again.

My hand shaking,
I reach into an open fridge.
Slamming the fridge door shut,
Till i hear the crack from a fractured bone.

I clutch myself too hard till it left bruises,
Dragging my nails down my arm backs.

I sit on a brand new carpet,
A room neat as a pin.
Carve her initials into my ankles,
Angled lines rough letters like a child draws.

Just a voice in my head,
telling myself;
I never want to see her again
Cradling my ankle the letters bead up with blood.

If winning you
is by losing myself
I'd rather not play the game

I guess i'm too weak
to fight for love
that eventually ends
as the game is over

Let me tell you about highschool
Let me tell you about the girls with hair higher then they can reach
The boys with the careless hair
The love intre-

No

Let me tell you about MY highschool
With the nerd shirts and phrases that most don’t understand
With the football games and the blue and white face paint
The girls talking to me with another pair of lips rather than the ones plastered on their face

No

Let me tell you about life
About the dew drops in the morning
The smile hidden in a stranger as he orders his double mocha triple shot dosage of love
Injected

No

Let me tell you about me
Let me tell you about my mom and her thin lips that orchestrate fat lies
Let me tell you about my dad who treats the bottle like the daughter he never wanted
Let me tell you about my school life and the way I get treated

No

Let me tell you a story
A story about ups and downs
Pills and coke and *****
With books and love interests
I cant fit my life into a poem

I can tell you my love life in a poem
My scars in a poem
My hate in a poem
My fears in a poem
I can’t tell you my life

I can tell you about my surroundings
How I always try to be strong
But you can only stick your head near ***** for so long
Before you start smelling what they're saying.

I can tell you about homophobia
About the men who flinch at the very word ******
Or the girls who are so uncomfortable with themselves they starve
I can tell you about the parents childless because of bullying

So tell me
What do you want to hear today?

please forgive me
when i go
but there was a sadness in me
i never did show

i kept it buried inside
where only i could feel
and i tried to tell myself
that it just wasn't real

i hid it from all
because it knew what it did
it tears you apart
with a darkness you can't rid

and i have tried my best
and thought i could handle it
but it has been so long
it is time i give in to it

so i bid my farewell
it will be better this way
and know it's not your fault
but i could no longer stay.

s.s

I am not an alcoholic,
I just like beer.

I am not an alcoholic,
I'm just a little hungover.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just want to drink with my friends.

I am not an alcoholic,
I am just bored.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just can't sleep.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just like to feel warm.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just like to feel dizzy.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just want to feel brave.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just want to feel something.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just want an excuse to tell someone I love them.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just feel better when I drink.

I am not an alcoholic,
I only hide it because my parents would yell.

I am not an alcoholic,
I am only sixteen.

I am not an alcoholic,
I just need something to cling to.

I don't care about procreation
To increase our population
I just want some copulation
Some vaginal stimulation
Simple genital integration
There ain't no rationalisation
For my urge for satisfaction
In my lower region location
I'm pushing the realisation
That with the physicalisation
Of the ******* sensation
Is the only stipulation
Pushing the physical activation
Of ****** gratification

I am hot with the seduction
So no more procrastination
We have all the education
To perform this fornication
Without meaning or relation
I'm not looking for affection
Or a long term infatuation
It's just a simple invitation
To engage in ****** deviation
The heated manifestation
Of a physical altercation
Without an ulterior motivation
With not a single ramification
Just ****** gratification

Of course we'll use protection
I'm not looking for infection
Don't wanna have an inspection
Followed by a painful injection
Ive a straight up expectation
That you stick your big *******
In a prophylactic invention
Stopping all types of creation
We have built up the anticipation
And my wetness is an indication
That I'm ready for connection
I want some ******* action
No mental manipulation
Only ****** gratification

(L)ick my muse
(E)at it all
(T)ry not to let a drop fall
(S)uck my juice, **** it all

(M)oan and scream
(I)t's all i need
(S)ubmissive is what you'll be
(B)e patient your time will come
(E)rotic games are to be done
(H)ardcore is my only way
(A)fter that it's your turn to play
(V)iolently, softly? it's up to you
(E)nding the night exploding on you

Words Of Harfouchism

Lighter, flames,
Another ounce of nicotine in me,
And you're the one to blame,
For the way my heart feels,

And I crave for more of it,
The way it burns in my lung,
I won't care of the demise I'll meet,
Its the one thing I understand,

See you're just like nicotine,
Both **** the life out of me,
But at least with a cigarette I'll be,
High for a while and stress free,

It kills I know,
But so is the milk from which you could choke,
I'll die, yes I know,
At least I'll know its my fault,

Rough ,Wet, Make it hurt
Sore in the morning
No time to flirt
No love, no whispers
Not even a kiss
Like animals, Mechanical
Tasting this
Bruises, teeth marks,
hickeys, thirst
*******, licking, Harder, grinding
The spot, Almost
Screaming, finding
Spasm, tightening
******, blinding