can't seem to put my finger on it, yet all eight tend to try,
there's no hidden agenda here, just my thumbs, me and i,
"your wild nights have done damage," they say,
white coats think i'll take that news sly.

can't seem to pull my digit, there's only one that tries,
spun the wheel, one through six, can't be denied,
my demise tastes like metal and was cold as ice,
so i ended it once, but decided it twice.

"pardon my late night knock,
so sorry to intrude,
i've been selected to be the bearer of bad news."

"what is it officer?
what are you trying to elude?
i didn't see this one coming, not one of the few. "

"i never like doing this, but it's apart of my job,
your son shot himself in the back of your saab.

slow your mind ma'am and remember the laughter,
slow your heart, as it will never beat faster,
i understand ma'am, these desperate measures,
you will fall apart, but he wrote you a letter."

"dear mamma, there's so much to say,
you've watched my path and it's visual fade,
do you remember that time on the promenade,
when we were laughing so hard and fell into the lake?
please dream about that and not your blood soaked babe,
it's not your fault, the knife was a present that day.
forgive my selfishness, don't waste a tear,
my wrath was overwhelming, even for me to bear.
by the way, if i wasn't man enough for the blade,
i loaded dad's little snub nosed 38."

Eating meals together
Sharing the same drink
Buying the same things
Walking home together
are you are friend or a lover?
whatever, whoever you are
The times spent with you were always beautiful

Clumsy mistakes that brings forth
Laughter that could reach the heavens
The times spent with you were always beautiful

Consolation by your kind words
Comfort upon your shoulders
The times spent with you were always beautiful

Beauty fades
Washed away by the river of time
Brings forth my friend's betrayal

Innocence fleeting like dreams
The memory of you brings forth sorrows
The pure feeling with you will never return
The times spent with you are still beautiful
Beautiful
and
Painful

The car slows down
and in the moment
so does the sound,
all I can hear is my heart.

The car stops and so do I,
as I start to cry
I let everything out
that was being held inside.

मैं सुखी डाली का एक मुरझाया हुआ बेला हु,
पर ये सच है उदास हु आज मैं ,बहुत अकेला हु,

ये अलग बात है की मैं झूठा बहुत हु,
हां पर सच बताऊ तो मैं टूटा बहुत हु,

आजतक मैंने सपने सजोया बहुत है,
सच बताऊ तो अकेले में रोया बहुत है,

इस रंगीन दुनिया मे प्यार के नाम बहुत है,
पर सच बताऊ तो आज प्यार बदनाम बहुत है,

जो एक अधूरा ख्वाब तूने इन आँखों मे दिए थे,
पर सच बताऊ तो गम भी सिर्फ तूने ही दिए थे,

ये अलग बात है कि मुझे प्यार की समझ ना थी,
पर सच बताऊ तो तुम्हे मेरी प्यार की परख ना थी,

ये अलग बात है मैंने हस के गम भुलाया बहुत है,
पर सच बताऊ तो मेरे अपनो ने ही इस दिल को दुखाया बहुत है,
इस दिल को दुखाया बहुत है.....

Some days I want to be completely alone,
on others I’m crying for friends I don’t have.
Sometimes I want to go out and have fun,
other times I feel like a troll came
and super glued me to my bed over night.
It’s so exhausting, being scared and tired all the time.

So often these days, I find it hard not to cry as time passes.
I look at the clock and wonder how far I'll actually make it.
I tell myself "when I move out I'll be happier...
I won't wake up like this anymore."
but at the end of the day I lay in bed filled with fear,
that I won't know how to be anymore.

For Erling


Eighteen years is nothing.
Even those that may pass
Between each time we
Meet over coffee
Are hummingbird heartbeats.

Such are the strings between
Brother hearts.
No room for discord;
Life never 'gets in the way', we
Just know:

The stars won't move an inch  
While we live. So let's just
Walk and watch them,  
Even be silent, and in that silence
Do all the catching up

We need:
These could be hurtful times,
But aren't.
As long as you can look up and
Smile at us all, I'm not

Going anywhere.