Don't tell me to get in the shower "It'll make you feel better,"
When you are the one who caused the bruises,
the internal ache,
the tears stained on my face,
the nightmares when I close my eyes,
and the PTSD everybody thinks is a lie.

Bite One
What are you doing?!
You know you're on a diet!
Don't eat that!
Bite Two
OH MY GOD.
That last bight could've just made another official pound
Bite Three
Don't think just eat!
Bite Four
Bites Five
Bite Six
Bite Seven
Etcetera.

Purge One
What am I doing?
Google said this is a mental disorder
Purge Two
Mental disorder or not you're still fat!
Do something about it.
Purge Three
The acid is burning my throat...
No more.
Purge Four
Keep going until it's all gone!
Purge Five
Am I ever going to be skinny?

You see,
They call me, "thick thighs, nice eyes."
I call me, "stretch marks bigger than a kind man's heart"
And...
I know that when I'm skinny this will all fade.
Because I know that, the girl across the room is laughing because of my fat face.
And I know that, that boy is saying that he'd never date me because my fat is a disgrace.
And for now...
I'm not thin enough
Not pretty enough
Not light enough
Not bright enough
But every time I purge I'm closer to being perfect enough

Maybe if I write a poem about her
she'll finally listen.

(reads through own poems)

Oh, ****, nevermind...
                                                  ..­.I tried that already...

Bounded by each others misery ,
like you being the blood
and me being the crime scene .

shes a freak
everyone calls her that
dares to be different
doesn't tow the line
so she’s a freak
dresses like no one else
talks a cool lingo
she simply dares
it bothers others
she’s nothing like them
you know, those "normal" ones
so she’s a freak

I watch you move between my palms
What a soul you are between your bones
Straddling skin like a sacrilegious nun basking in the glory of Satan
Just a taste on my tongue
Like bitten words of repression you ache for mercy
Funny how we are nothing but rot in the end
And still I love you, in the state you are in
A far cry from lively
But still
Just as lovely

picking and scratching
my skin bleeding
the scars all over remind me of certain times in my life
when the stress got too much to handle and I sat in the bathroom for hours
destroying the body that was given to me
burning down my humble abode
just picking and scratching away at my sanity
which I'm not sure I ever really had
the scars that I get comments on daily
'Did you try to hurt yourself?'
'Are you alright?'
'Are you being abused or unsupervised?'
no answer really just staring at them;
whilst picking at my scabs in that blissful agony that I love to feel

Eye of bat and bowels of mice
Mixed into a cauldron cold as ice
Claw of rabbit, tooth of goat
Stir with a tale of a smelly stoat

Add two pints of stale perfume
Two rats whiskers and an ounce of misfortune
Ignite the mixture with a match
And burn it down to blackened ash

Gather the ashes and grind to powder
Add some Arsenic to make a chowder
Invite your enemies round for luncheon
No need to bludgeon with a truncheon

Sit back and watch the final show
Love your friends and **** all foe
This witches brew should do the trick
If they don't die they'll all be sick

I once had a dream
Though I’m not even sure if it’s a dream

I was in this forest, see
It was cold, damp, and foggy
With me was my Dahlia, dressed in white
My oh so pretty Dahlia

She was just standing right there
Far from me, and we both couldn’t move
As if time had died for the both of us
And she was shaking her head
Uncontrollably, violently, shaking her head

I knew she was crying
Wait, was she crying?
Or was she just bleeding through her eyes?
I don’t know, but there was blood all over her

Then, right in front of us was a wolf
Black fur, eyes drenched in vermillion
It—or he?—was staring at me, growling
And then, it—or he?—began to grin

I looked the wolf in the eyes
They were fiery, like windows to hell
And the wolf kept on grinning,
Its sharp teeth like demonic horns

I don’t know, but it seems like
The wolf is there physically in front of me
But its soul—or his?—was trying to **** my Dahlia
To strip her of her innocence
Not to mention her clothes

But of course, dreams are severed by waking up
And I did wake up, to the smell of decaying flesh
With dried-up blood painted all over my skin
I turned around, and there she was
My Dahlia, cold and lifeless

Like her heart

I want to bite the flesh of your words
And let the juice of your truth trickle down my throat.
I want to inhale the scent of your joy
And graze upon your sadness
I want to devour your pain
And consume your pleasure
I want to feast on all parts of you
And relish every mouthful
Until my belly can take no more

He liked the way her skin moved
Against the blade of a knife
He would often like to lose himself
In the blueness of her eyes
He would paint her body scarlet
With the blood of her life
He loved so much to watch her
The way she'd jolt and writhe
The blade so finely sharpened
Every incision was precise
He liked to think she giggled
Every time he took a slice
Her flesh was soft and thick
He ate it all, which was nice
And downed it with some cider
And a heaping bowl of rice