A heart isn't a game
*** isn't a game or a gamble
Tears are potions of frustration and pain
*** was never intended to be physical gain
I could knock on this ****
Point out everything not worth it
But still no one would ever get what my mouth tries to say
This age, and this day
Nothing but a petty game I'll have to play

I hope you never reach
The day
Where you are lost for words
Because they're tangled up in
Agony.

I hope you never reach
The point
Where your innocence of
The world is
Robbed.

I hope you choose
Your friends and
Lovers wisely
So that you never have to
Discover what it feels like
To see those who you believed
Would take a bullet for you
Dance behind the
Trigger.

Oh the horror, the horror!
My closet is full, yet I have nothing to wear.
I’m slipping into madness with the burden
To decide between medium well and rare.
If there’s another commercial I’ll surely die;
Can you pass me the remote with my fries?
WHAT! They’re not warm and crispy!
I can’t eat this…it’s too risky.
The show is over, now I have nothing to do,
I guess I’ll lament in the game room.
My life is in shambles; it’s falling apart,
I won’t be able to afford all the items in my cart:
Out goes the Apple earbuds, I’d rather have Beats,
Do I really need another pair of Gucci earrings?  
Sorry, memory foam mattress, you’ll have to wait,
Soon I have to make the hardest decision ever made:
Hulu, Netflix, or HBO on demand,
One I’ll have to sacrifice.
I wish you would understand
The misfortune that is my life.
You tell me to be grateful with all my bounty,
But clearly you are blind to my abject poverty.

sometimes
a day is a bad day from the moment
you get out of
your bed

and

sometimes
you’re not always going to feel
the way you
want to

and

sometimes
it will all hurt at once and
you just can’t
stop it

but

that doesn’t mean
that you can’t pick up the pieces
of a shattered day
or a shattered heart
and try again
tomorrow

John. I haven't read one letter since you left. I'm scared to open an envelope and see the same note you left before you let your dreams, goals, days all hang from a rope. To be honest I don't know what it was that you needed to hear, what words could've saved your life. But I can say that old coffee shop feels emptier. My room feels colder. My eyes look darker. I don't smile at seasons changing anymore. I've been avoiding all mirrors because I can't bare to see myself without you.
    You were the best person I've ever met. It almost seemed unfair that I let such a perfect person be with a broken mess like me. You were so funny and the way your eyes lit up when you told a story...Oh God. I'm not religious but when you looked at me that way I thought we were both going to hell. Your laugh was all I needed to make a bad day better, oh what I would do to make you laugh.
   I know you hated long car rides and you knew I hated distance. Who knew 6 feet could feel longer than 100,000 miles.? Because now you're resting underground and I don't sleep without sleeping pills. I miss you so much. I miss you. I miss you.

i feel you with me
especially when i'm blue
i remember
the simple words you offered
that told me you cared
i know it was difficult
for you, sometimes
showing compassion
   encouragement
     love
but i never doubted it
and i always, always felt it
my hurt was your hurt
my desperation was your desperation
my happiness blazed in your eyes
i will never be loved like that again
i will never feel as secure as i did with you
i miss you, dad
i miss your solidness
your quiet
the comfort i got
when you reached for my son

yes, the good die young
   and you...
you were one of the best.

The people who set me on fire
to see me burn
Ask me why i glow
They're the ones who fill my ashes in an urn
to throw
And they are the ones who say i do not know
anything about love...
For all i know , all i know is love
not hatred upside down
And my ego gets diluted
as i rise in love unbound
For all i know,  
i do not know anything else but love
And that's why i glow
so don't ask me why
Just drop my ashes
and let every speck fly...
And forget my name
or i ever was

people always have so much time to judge others

well in my case I don't have enough time to judge myself

feeling jealous of people who had enough time to judge others