Oh the horror, the horror! My closet is full, yet I have nothing to wear. I’m slipping into madness with the burden To decide between medium well and rare. If there’s another commercial I’ll surely die; Can you pass me the remote with my fries? WHAT! They’re not warm and crispy! I can’t eat this…it’s too risky. The show is over, now I have nothing to do, I guess I’ll lament in the game room. My life is in shambles; it’s falling apart, I won’t be able to afford all the items in my cart: Out goes the Apple earbuds, I’d rather have Beats, Do I really need another pair of Gucci earrings? Sorry, memory foam mattress, you’ll have to wait, Soon I have to make the hardest decision ever made: Hulu, Netflix, or HBO on demand, One I’ll have to sacrifice. I wish you would understand The misfortune that is my life. You tell me to be grateful with all my bounty, But clearly you are blind to my abject poverty.