She finds that even backyard leaves contain
a blazing history inside their veins.
She reads the legends etched in crinkled skin,
her ardent, housebound blood boiling within.

At dusk, she likes to listen to the creek–
its reverent, animated tales of meek
young girls who grew into grand bronze statues–
and long for metal legs that’d let her choose

to dare, and burn, instead of fear, and waste.
But still, at night, her body likes to chase
the hours stargazing at ceilings. And
the myth-less, coarse white stucco slowly sands

away each spot of sprouting luster on
her atrophying frame. With nerve all gone
and adult blood inert as viscous tar,
she cannot even dream of ceiling stars.

I’m scared because my mind rages against me

I hear the motor ignite with a vengeance.

Hurling towards me.

I’m on the sidewalk. I reason.

Each roar forces me to close my eyes.

I am afraid.

Of a car that will never crash against me.

I know it's been a long time coming.
But these days, it doesn't seem
like anyone's home emotionally.
Like we all took a midnight drive
to clear our head.
But by the time we were ready to come back, we got lost
because the street lights were dead.
This is a call to all our loved ones waiting anxiously by the door:
Turn the lights on.
We don't want to be alone anymore.

The leaves are fragile,

at the slightest they come off --


caution! breathe softly!

You dreamed it once
The slow bend in the road
Past which the world delves
Into the realm of the unreal
Unrealised futures selves
That are as material as
Anything will ever be
In this stretch of land
Between here and infinity
Where a million bonded yous
Could be living in flawed
Synchrony, a dissonance of
Possible lives you will never see
Even now at the precipice
Of all that waits to come
The time it takes for a hum
To bloom into the vibration
Of a body growing wings
Is that step that lays down
The brick for the next
Two feet never together
On the same square inch of ground
There lies the sound of cracking shells
A chrysalis to which you are bound
By birth, where inside you lay the
Stones of the inverted pyramid
With each clean bone leading
Cleanly to the edge, the rising temple
Held up by the apex of the roof
Long before belief has penetrated
The invisible heart of the root

I wonder if cats have self esteem
And if so
Is their self worth as fragile as ours?
Do they develop that voice inside
That feeds them lies
About whether or not they're good enough?
Do they question why they were born
With long hair instead of short?
Or get self conscious about a broken tail?
Do they wish they had better owners?
Or that their owners understood them better?
Are they sensitive about their weight?
Or the length of their claws?
Do they wish they had soft orange hair
Instead of plush black fur?
Or do they love themselves entirely?
Understanding that they matter and that
Their worth isn't defined by other people?
Do they just live their lives fully
Paying no mind to anyone's judgement?
Are they happy with themselves?
Why aren't we?

Anything brighter than the darkness
Can feel like the warmest light
For half your days in half your life
You were entombed in the night
The other half felt better
Like a breath of fresh air
Although the sadness still choked you
It felt easier there
There were still pitch black moments
Though you claimed you just blinked
You couldn't acknowledge the truth
Otherwise into despair you would sink
Many years have since gone
Many spent feeling alone and distressed
Until suddenly everything went grey
You even stopped feeling depressed
What once held positive memories
Then simply displayed a blank screen
An empty, monotone canvas
You asked "What does it mean?"
Do you think now of the phrase
About not seeking out truth
Until you're truly ready for answers?
As you stare into the face of your lost youth?
Because while you did have a place
Where light shone much more often
You didn't realize how many parts of care
Were still being forgotten
You had food and peace at times
You had shelter and space too
What you didn't have was emotional safety
Or a support system to talk to
Yes, you got to go to therapy
And that helped open a door
Yet you never even questioned why
She knew of the abuse and didn't do more
There were still so many broken promises
You still had to be strong
There were so many ways out
It went on far too long
Someone should have done more for you
To protect and give you care
To let you have emotions and feel safe
But they didn't and that's unfair
You deserved love, respect, and kindness
And every day you still do
I know I couldn't make the loneliness leave then
But now I will always be here for you