I'll show you all the cracks,
in your feeble facade.
Just shortly before I see it erased,
with psychological grenades.
Don't you know?
I've got x-ray eyes,
They see into your heart
and find the skeletons you hide.
I don't require knives to see you filleted,
I'll verbally split your middle,
expose your doubts and your shames.
I'll flush out every fallacy,
stop the production.
My words and my mind will see your destruction.

Love is the essence
where roses live with thorns
no one rejected
no one hated
and
fragrance spreads everywhere

words fall
like hapless fledglings
tossed from a cliff edged nest

with much screeching, squawking,
countless feathers lost

and then an awful thump
or hopeful, glorious flight

first love is tachycardiac love
all adrenaline, sweating palms
and stutter-stumbling sqeakings,
ungainly gropings,
when not with you, mopings
unrealistic hopings
for happy ever after endings,
breakings, bendings,
awkward mendings,
repeated leavings,
repented lovings.
heartfelt givings,
of broken hearted rendings.
lendings,
of time stolen from life
tearing, teasing,
tantalising teamings
crying, begging,
pleading strife
and then,
the metaphorical knife
cutting, slashing,
wordblow bashing,
screaming, reaming,
end to loves life.

til eventually, words fall,
like old birds leavings
to settle, unremarked upon
at the base of the tree of life.

first love's loss, is slow dying.
arrhythmia to flatline
in a multitude of laboured breaths
and long lingering sighs.
a loss of warmth,
from breast and thighs
and water copious,
falling from red rimed eyes.
sobbing, murmuring,
don't know whys?
from lips turned
toward,
bleakset skies.
as one settles firmly,
into black dog muck
no longer able to give a f▼ck.
tucked in tight to sadness,
lost all sight of former gladness,
caught up and shackled tight,
to the badness
around and around,
the carousel goes.

then,
at last,
the blessed silence,
as you die
one of many of....
                    life's little deaths

I am in need of home sweet home
Free of terror, without any error
as I need you and these all
Sun, Spring, Winter, Rain and Snow fall

Have you ever been surrounded by people, yet you still feel alone?

Cause I am.

I'm scared. The universe is getting bigger and it gets more lonely.

Pretending so hard that you're fine and then when no one sees, you broke down in tears. That's what I always do.

Indeed, fake happiness is still the worst sadness.

Small, dark room became my favorite place. I hate going out. I hate interacting with people.

Humans are the most fake thing on earth.

And yes I am human. I am fake. I pretend.

And I know some of them are pretending as well.

Pretending every single day that everything's fine when they are really hurting.

Walls became my best friends too. I always lean on them when I break down.

They always hear the sound of that person, her cry, her loneliness, *the person who's alive but not living.