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 Feb 10
Jellyfish
Why do I restart my life once a year?
Restrict myself from growing,
Whenever conflict appears
I'm not passionate about anything
Restarting is easier than keeping on.
Even though I just want to be done
I start over
 Feb 6
Jellyfish
I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.

The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.

I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug

But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you

Now you're gone
 Jan 23
Jellyfish
My family doesn't reach out to me,
All weight is on me to say hi.
If I talk too long, outbursts can occur
Contradictions leave me at a loss for words

They want a relationship with fiction,
An image; or story they see me as.
I used to try to fit the frame they made
But doing that lead me down a bitter path

Now I try to accept the reality,
Who I am inside is not enough for them.
When I'm myself, I recieve lots of judgment
Or comments that I don't understand.
 Jan 17
Jellyfish
8

She likes video games, reading books
and watching movies with family
She always day dreams
and plays outside alone, imagining.

She looks up to her big sister,
and likes to sing together in her car
Her little sister is annoying
She's always the shining star.

But together all three will walk to the park.

11

She likes to color, play guitar and sing
She dances in her room without worrying
One wall is covered with a teen pop sensation,
Others hold her poems and art that reveal her struggles and wishes.

She liked the attention singing got her
It made her feel like she was worthy.
She did her best to live up to
The things said by her family

13

She was sad often and preferred to be alone
She still played guitar but played games the most,
She liked writing poems and songs,
They let her express herself in any tone

She had plans to go far away one day,
with her best friend she would escape.
There'd be hello kitty tunnels
and fun had every day.

She fell victim to infatuation
which lead to many hearts being broke,
Forced to play outside,
she'd swing away her trauma while grasping ropes.

16

She's quiet, she stays in her room alone, she feels unwanted.
The internet is where she felt she belonged
Most people would hear her out
and wouldn't ask her to play them a song.

She was forced to go somewhere she was needed
She got an education out of it and an identity crisis.

25

She is independent, but still feels scared
She is working to understand her life
and is moving forward with care.

So don't call me Becca,
It reminds me of those years-
the times I was saddest and living in fear.

Becca had a mask that Rebecca has out grown.
The mask is smaller now and is becoming unsown.
It's been a painful process, the mask really hurt
This is where I'm at now, trying to unlearn.
 Dec 2023
Jellyfish
Loneliness is something that I can endure
I don't want you to be my revolving door;
someone I run to for comfort or relief  
When I think of you now I feel worry and ease.

Many different thoughts take a walk across my mind,
You're precious to me and it's hard to hide.
I miss you so much, the term feels overused
When I see friends on the street, I'm reminded of you

We never got to do the things we planned,
So many trips were left in neverland.
It was painful to feel my heart soar with excitement
To be broken constantly through cancelations

I'm trying to understand now,
and leave all these things behind.
It seems my head is stuck in the past,
Pain catches up with me through time

So many unresolved feelings lie within me
Things I wanted to say, hugs I wanted to give
but ignored because of my worries,
how do I let go of these longings?

Revolving doors are for buildings
But I still want to resolve my feelings.
I wish I spent more time doing things with you than just sharing my thoughts.
 Aug 2021
S Smoothie
She got them today

Sweet tiny collusion of love

Perfectly formed

Born and gone in a fleeting moment

Too young, too small

To be ripped from her mother's womb

The kinder cut they rationalized

But the of pain of kindness was too great to bear

Still, her wings outstretched with love

Wrapped & Consoled them

This wasn't her vessel,

This wasn't her time

And off she flew

Again to rise

Our Phoenix

Our precious

Tiny love

With her

Wings...
For beautiful baby M xo
 Dec 2020
S Smoothie
Falling like stars

The pitterpattern of a melting heart

Warming and filling to bursting!

Unstoppable radiance

Unfathomable joy

Casting loving designs and new paths

On once dark velvet

The light show ends

But the embers

burn through the fabric of being

Tearing holes in the hopelessness

Pain of release

Fingers of light reach through

See?

God is Love,

I told you!
You are more than what you were told you could be.
 Jul 2020
kelly huckle
When people doubt you
And you know you're not wrong
Fight and stay strong!

When people mock you and belittle you're faith with Christ
You know you're not wrong
Fight and stay strong!

When people attack you with wrongful word's remember Christ was bruised for telling the truth. You know you're not wrong fight and stay strong.

When people see Christ when he returns they will know you weren't wrong! Keep fighting and stay strong.
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