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I have the same dream every night.

    Another body entangled in yours.

Her soft hair under your nose.

        


You won't let me in,

       And I'm drowning in a sea of silence.
it is an honor
to love
and be loved
by you (only you)

i wanted a hippie van
and you wanted to make me happy
so you took off your Vans and grabbed a marker

we wrote "don't worry, be hippie" on the fabric until our fingers cramped
True story.
I saw a homeless man
lay hopelessly
Like a frayed kite.
Patchwork intentions
conquered by his chemical imbalance.


Addiction.

I saw a business man
walk arrogantly
Like a lion after a ****.
Humbled intentions
conquered by his
instituted passion for monetary growth.



**Addiction.
I'm not a poet
I never was one.
Where the words could build and wreck lives.
Mine caused only a ripple
Where the words could cause chaos
Mine let out only a whimper.

The words, they should be magical
But, mine knew no sorcery.

All my life, I spent it finding the exact words
The words never found me.
Also, I never quite got the hang of feelings
They were all so beautiful and ugly.
But words were all that remained
And I want them to stay close
within the wild musings of my reckless heart.
I take pride in this heart of stone,
Even if it means being alone.
While fools revel in the idea of "our",
I will recline and enjoy my power.
And though lust is a meal I often devour,
You'll mean nothing to me by the end of the hour.
“A man is about as likely to ask for help for depression as to ask for directions, and for much the same reason,” said Real, who struggled with his own depression issues. “It's part of the male code, part of masculine culture.”

~~~

when they ask,

I say, parrying fast,
how you doing?

to the persisters, I mutter fine

which is 100% correct...



been fined for the accumulated

made-mistakes, wrong forks taken,

the weight invisible but the

body sags, nonetheless...



you know they know,

you know their thoughts,

why doesn't he snap out of it,

after all he is a man,

he has always been

what we needed,

why can't he

just go back to the person prior...



this code, is not law,

ten times worse,

genetic and culture passed,

double ******,

code so real, like the headaches,

the nightmares, that forbid equanimity...



not true,

we don't expect that of you,

thankful for all you have done,

but eyes betray,

a simpatico misunderstanding,

the instillers, can't take back

what they celebrated previous...



the signals everywhere, few ascertain,

cause the rule is never complain,

don't go near windows,

lest the sunlight diffused, offers no cheer,

but escape temptation ever on offer...



forgive yourself, someone intones,

but what infects my bones,

is non-responsive to the forget antibiotic,

which does not come in pill format



ask me for directions,

I will talk/walk you to your destination,

but when I'm lost,

I'm just a lost man,

who needs to do better,

forgetting is not in my DNA,

but lost is...choking on expectations

of being everyone's savior,

with no one to save you from yourself...
To those who feel the darkness,
To those who starve with pain,
To those who are rejected,
To those who live in rain.

I will be your friend,
Though none others seem to be,
Though people start to hate you,
And no one seems to see.

We all have problems, we all have sin,
We all live masks and lies,
We all forget our decency,
And say things that bring demise.

So when no one else accepts you,
Still  I will be your friend.
When all is falling down around you,
To the very end.

Our Father loves us, wants to help,
And will take away despair,
He’ll fix our hearts and broken souls,
And wipe our conscience bare.
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