I walk though my home so empty and strange
not even love is protected from change

In the streets of my past once so vibrant and youthful
The nature of time is so dreadfully truthful

People will leave, seasons will turn
The wise will move on while the young stay and burn

Fight as you may, it’s out of control
Whatever you’re dealt, you’d best take it and roll

Flowers of love grow from desolate dirt

The petals bring joy while the thorns impart hurt

Our seeds have been sown in many a plot
Past oceans and valleys,
some watered,
some not

Through seasons of bliss and chapters of pain
Your hold on my heart steadfastly remains

When I reminisce through memory’s fields
A precious bouquet awaits unconcealed

I wish you could see the colors and shades
And walk hand in hand through my memory’s glades

I hope in your mind our garden is lush
My sweet plumeria, I love you so much

You asked me to leap But the faith wasn’t there
This jump offers nothing but pain and despair

The illusion is broken Like a mirror on the ground
The shards of our past are scattered around

I try to decipher why it went bad
While time marches forward through happy and sad

One too many times
my heart has been broken

Now when love calls my name
my response is unspoken

You lifted me up to high mountain peaks
Now that you’re gone, the future is bleak

How will I ever love somebody new
When all that I want is to be with you

When I hold your gaze, the skies open up
the flowers all bloom, and volcanos erupt

When I spend my days with you by my side,
my heart feels your rhythm, and my worries subside

If I could stop time with your lips on mine,
then we’d spend that moment forever entwined

You make my life better, It’s clear to see
That I’m at my best, when I’ve got you with me

When the sun hangs low
still waters reflect mountains
Yet you hold my gaze

Moonroof shine down on me
let the sunshine keep me company

The open road is bittersweet
when she’s not in the passenger seat

Though she left me all alone
I still have her music on my phone

I hear those songs and see her there
singing sweetly without a care

In the wind her hair would flutter
smells of lavender and cocoa butter

It’s funny how a song is changed
When two lovers become estranged

The notes that used to fill my heart
leave me hollow and falling apart

If ever we should meet again
I’ll finally have my hymn's amen

Love is war, or so they say
I can’t seem to love another way

Why must I send my heart to war
When you’re clearly not worth dying for

Several scars my heart beholds
Several more my future holds

If peace can find its way to me
My soul rejoice. My heart be free

If I put myself inside your shoes then I'd hate me too
It seems I got nothing to lose, since I already lost you

If everything we shared together had no meaning
Then I’m a heartless, soulless ***** who has no feelings

I know you think that way, I know you think it’s true
That I’m a deeply damaged person, and that I never loved you

I would gladly fight and argue
if I had a mind to

Though I may be damaged
my love for you is is true

She was my first love.  I wasn't her's.  She loved to lead me on and tease me.

So like an infected limb, I cut her off.

a very long time passed, my wounds healed, she texted me out of the blue.

I've never been good at resisting siren songs, even when I know of the dangers awaiting on the shore

Last night we met up for the first time in five years

We started out with drinks
at a bar in my neighborhood

She ordered us 3 rounds of tequila shots

More than the alcohol
Her smile makes me buzz

When she laughs it's like hearing an old forgotten favorite song

It was a cold and dreary night, but in her eyes I found a Hawai'ian sunset

After drinks
we went back to my place

This girl owns a key to my heart
She let herself right in and made herself at home

It was raining and muddy
and she tracked her mud inside

Doesn’t she know how long it takes to clean mud stains?

I just barely got her last ones out.

Now she’s gone again

I’m left with a muddy home
and that same empty feeling that I thought I had seen the last of

I wish I knew how to change the locks on my heart
so I could keep her out.

Loneliness is a tricky mistress

Sometimes she makes me feel worthless and miserable
Like an apple fallen off the orchard tree, rotting in the October sun

Sometimes we dance alone for hours
stepping in harmony with the unimpeded freedom of my whims

Loneliness knows no jealousy
No matter how long we stay apart

She always awaits me at the door of my studio apartment

Some days she is a welcomed companion

Others she is a home invader

I know we’ll dance forever
I just hope I can learn all of the steps

Dyin' doesn’t feel good
livin ain’t great either

I think about a sunny place
To keep a calm demeanor

I drink some ***** to take me there
The **** can help out too

But nothing makes my sun shine brighter
Than when I’m loving you

Once you left, I took what we had and buried it in a wooden box in the backyard of my childhood home

Who’d of thought that I’d see you again?

I dug it up, hoping to find things as I left them.

What I remembered as a spectacle of vibrant color
had become faded and dull like an old kids toy.

I picked it up, examined it, and tried to wipe off the dirt,
but it crumbled into dust and fell through my hands.

I’m sorry my love. We have nothing left to share.

To think of the countless hours we spent in intimate conversation

The times when I heard you giddy with excitement
The times where sadness leaked out from behind your words

Your voice could feel like a warm blanket on a cold night
as well as it could feel like a dead winter's breeze

We laughed, we cried, and we sang in the car
When we made love your moans would dance through the air

But now when I think of your voice
I can't hear you anymore

I had to break your heart to set my own heart free.
I'm truly sad to see you go but it's better you than me.

What we made together was destined to fall apart.
They say that broken people create the best art.

I hope you find yourself another man to save.
I'm sorry for the time you wasted and the love you gave.

If I could give it back I wouldn't
despite the pain I caused.

Some would say that's selfish.
I never said I'm perfect.

Hey hello baby,
I'm sorry, but I'm leavin'.
I'll think about your ***
maybe next tax season.

Sure the pay is good,
but my dignity is weeping,
and I couldn't stop the feelings
of anxiety from creeping.

The times I felt alone,
shadowed by my fear,
made me realize
a new day was coming near.

If you try to break me down
I emerge from the rubble,
stronger than I was before
empowered by the struggle.

The darkest of days can have the brightest of nights,

if you look towards the stars and reflect on your life.

The loves that you've grown and the joys that they bloom.

Hugging your mother, and feeling safe like the womb.

The adventures of youth, oh so simple and blissful.

And the first week of spring, hearing singing birds whistle.

The landscape of time with it's summits and peaks,

is ripe for exploring 'til the heart cannot speak.

Times may seem dark but look straight ahead.

'Cause things will get brighter once this day is dead

The greatest beauty of my queen

Cannot be touched or heard or seen

Her eyes and smile will steal your heart

But still one thing sets her apart

Study her soul then you will see

How truly beautiful a girl can be

Before spring emerged from winter's remorse
My heart had long suffered from it's previous course

I'd gone to the river of vanity's charm
and drank from the waters ignoring the harm

The poisonous wrath enveloped my soul
My reckless abandon had taken its toll

I lived as a man with no self esteem
The waters raged on as I drifted downstream

The day we crossed paths you reached for my hand
I couldn't resist what fortune had planned

I saw in your eyes who I needed to be
Baptized by your love I was finally free

Our seasons of bliss have opened my heart
Your sun shines on its pedals spreading apart

In building our garden we both shall partake
We're living in eden without any snake

She thought her son would be visiting today. Guess Not

It's ironic.
All of those years,
sitting through bible studies,
being forced to attend weekly mass,
rather than building a relationship with their God,
I built anger towards the very idea of it.

*******
******* is a mortal sin
*******
my dog isn't going to heaven
*******
and every contradictory ******* teaching in your "holy book"
*******
and your homophobic, thieving, child molesting "ministers"

I don't believe in that ****

Why should I feel guilty about breaking your ******* commandments

You tried to brainwash me from the time I was a small child until the time I graduated highschool

And I'm supposed to believe that the evil ones reside in the islamic faith

*******

I relish in every scandal that befalls you

I wish I could unlearn the "ideals" that have been force fed to me throughout my entire young life and now plague my character

I hope change comes with time

I hope I find out what God really is

Your soft skin
and your piercing eyes
Your closed off heart
and your open thighs

My fragile mask
and My lustful sighs
My careful words
form my truthful lies

our bodies part
our *** release
leave us with
uncertain peace

the tension builds
the tempers flair
this *** release
has left us bare

going back
to our youth
I wish we knew
this simple truth

love is dead

Divinely I dream

Benignly I live

Sublimely I gleam

Shyly I give

My heart on a platter

Begging to flatter

A people to whom

I do not matter

She was born in April, baptized in may and we married on valentines day.
Her beautiful soul changed my life for the better.
When I was with her it was always sunny weather.
Remember that trip we took to Denver?
That was the best week of my life.
I'm so happy I got to make her my wife.

Unfortunately for me ,nothing gold can stay.
I told you that mommy had to go away, up to heaven and  I'm sorry but she's not coming back,
that was the moment that my soul turned pitch black,
My spirt couldn't defend the constant attacks from the adamant grief that had stricken my heart and denied me relief.
My veil of despair clouded my mind. When I lost my wife I thought you were fine
forgetting that you too lost something divine.


I was so absorbed in myself that I couldn't see you needed me.  
You cried out for help but I couldn't break free.
I was so concerned with what was happening to me that I rejected my duty and responsibility.
Please don't hate me.
**I'm sorry

Our love was so deep that it transcended the meaning of the word.
I needed a different phrase to make my feelings heard.
Our romance was never normal.
Our dance was never formal.
I loved you in a different way. In a manner words could not portray.
Why Couldn't you stay?
We could've lived out the rest of our days.
Together.

I trap myself inside my mind.
I try to make myself blind
to the bond we used to share.
I try not to care.
But I can't run away from the emotions or the oceans of despair.


So I lock myself inside my head trying to decipher the puzzle presented to me.
How can something so beautiful become so ugly?
How can something once so alive be so dead?
Will this agonizing sorrow stop running through my head?

I try to cope and I hope that this suffering will end.
But when I close my eyes I hear your voice and pretend
that you are still well.
And that's when my eyes swell
and the scared loneliness comes rushing back.

How can I carry on with my life,
when your death is stuck in my mind like a knife?
You were taken too soon
like a lunch before noon.
I promise we'll meet again soon....
**I'll never get out of this world alive