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C E Ford Sep 2015
And I would bite my tongue gladly
for just another taste of yours;
For the way my name glazed off your front tooth.
Each syllable sticking to my collarbones,
leaving red marks on both cheeks.

I want to smell the scent of your laughter.
I want to feel the waves of your sighing chest
kissing the shores of my spine.
I want, again, for you to hold the glacial angles of my jaw,
because you are the only one
who fears not
of the winter that lies beneath my lips.

And sometimes our teeth would kiss if our mouths weren't moving fast enough.
Your nails clenched into the clay spaces between my ribs,
hoping to hold on just long enough
to make an impression on me,
but I don't think you realize
how deep your divots run.

So let me carve my initials into the peaks of your shoulder blades.
Let me write poetry on your skin.
Let me cover you in the ashes of a thousand goodbyes that echo too hot to let go.

Just let me stay.
Let me stay amidst the oak and sage of your backbone.
Let me stay nestled inbetween the dusk and summer,
of what's to come and what's to be.
C E Ford Aug 2014
Press your palms against mine,
do you feel that?
That's you
warming me up
and me cooling
you down.

That's the keys of
your fingerprints
unlocking the chest
of my ribcage.

That's me leaving my coat
at the door,
and you
wrapping your arms around me,
because you are
the most comfortable thing
I have ever worn.

That's the crescent C of my body
nestling into the cat's cradle
of yours,
my claws grazing
your two-day-old whiskers.

That's the flecks
of your freckle-covered shoulders
jumping ship
to make me captain
of the vast oceans
that roar and toss within you.

You are a lion,
beautiful and proud,
fierce with your tongue,
and strong in your gait.
King of the jungle
that lies within this dark heart,
and my stubborn head

Which constantly buts against yours,
but only so that my eyelashes
can kiss the apples of your cheeks,
because I can never
get enough of your sweetness,
no matter how hard I try.
C E Ford Nov 2017
And I will stand tall
through the bitter winds
and rains of this life
that have beaten on my bedroom window
since I was a child.

I know now
that the howling winds
and clawed branches
are not monsters
but my own fears
of failure
and the fright
of never again
finding the light
I've been missing all this time.

Though I am cold
and worn
and tired,
I stay awake,
keep watch,
and make sure the
candles are lit for
those who need me,
both near
and far.

For while the winds may screech
at my door,
there is a door for them
to scream at,
and that is more
than many can say.
My sadness will not get the best of me, and if nothing else, I'll do my best to remain a source of light for those who have none.
C E Ford Jan 2014
Whispers hello as the first streams of sunlight
inch their way in through their black chiffon veil,
gleaming on our garden of stale breath,
and down feathers.

Whispers goodnight as his proud freckles
become the constellations outside my window,
and the moon stretches her arms
for another night's work.

Whispers sorry after his words became feather-lances
jousting through my arguments until my armor
was askew and torn
at its paper seams.

Whispers tales of tomorrows and fortnights
to come under illusions of rich greens, blues, and yellows
he will finger paint on my forehead
like a warrior.

Whispers goodbyes, sweet and forlorn,
as he realizes promises and paints will not keep the morning
from snatching his prized possession from his cotton laced roost,
leaving him alone with just the rays of the sun
to admire his tail.
C E Ford Oct 2013
The light in your eyes
reflects the laughter
that bursts forth from your soul,
and echoes
through muggy night air.

It traverses
across the room,
bouncing off the glints
of teeth
from constant conversations
of strangers.

As their smiles turn to
smirks,
and bright eyes
grow heavy
with slumber and drink,
your laughter still reverberates

Off the curves of their
hips,
and the tips
of their tongues,
as your lips touch
to meet someone else’s.
C E Ford Nov 2013
Bathtubs
don't encompass
the flicks of your upturned mouth,
or the etchings of chapped lips
that cut your tongue
when you speak.

Your milky figure
pours into the aquamarine warmth below.
The lavender colored bubbles
Pop
in eighth notes and song lyrics
which bounce off the shower curtain
to the rug,
and back.

The water overflows
its porcelain prison
to compensate for the greatness
in your voice
and gets hotter
with each and every breath
you release
from your fire-filled lungs.

It overruns the bathroom,
and floods the hall with each blink of your eye,
each wisp of your lashes,
the floorboards soaking in every freckle
until every surface of mine
is covered in every cell of you.
C E Ford Sep 2015
One day, you'll awaken,
with blood shot eyes,
scratching at a five o'clock shadow,
even though it's seven o'clock
in the morning, and
wonder where it all went wrong. Where she all went wrong.

When the arches of her feet stopped
tiptoeing across the room
to kiss you good morning.
When the parallels of her calves
started making diagonals
when laying on the bed.
When the crook of her elbows
no longer wrapped around you
like the beautiful ribbon on the present you gave to her last Christmas.

Do you even know where that present is?
It's there,
up there on the shelf collecting dust
along with all the "I love yous"
and other promises that you stash away for cold winters nights,
when you crave her warmth,
and long to feel the chill of her sapphire-painted fingernails.

But somewhere between the cicadas of summer and the apples of autumn, you lost her along the way.
You lost the way her hair finds its way onto every surface of your house.
You can't find the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs,
even if you turn over all the couch cushions,
and look under the rug.

You check your file cabinets for the way her chest heaves when she sleeps,
and check in the pantry for the memories of her propped up on her elbows,
looking out the window sill at the rain,

But all that's left are phantoms of her amber scent,
and ghost-smiles that have all but gone stale.
C E Ford Sep 2017
There aren't many things
I get right in this life.
I light cigarettes just to watch
them burn,
and drink liquors
that taste like gasoline
to watch them burn through me.

I've never been someone
to love someone else
without loving
how they make me feel first.

And all the men and boys
and drug users
and *** addicts
call me a *****
and call me cold
because I can't love them more
than they love
the valleys of my ribs
and the lavender that grows
in them.

But the truth is,
that I don't think
I'll ever be able to
love someone else,
not like I love
sitting on the porch
of a chilly morning
or the crimson color
of paper cuts
from the $2 tattered novels
I buy from junk stores.

There aren't many things
I get to keep in this life,
other than my own scars,
dreams, and vices.
And I'd rather them consume me,
turn me into ash,
then be the dust
that sits on top of
books unread.
C E Ford Mar 2018
Look,
one day,
it’s all
going to happen
to you.

You’ll wake up one morning
and skin your knee
for the
very first time.

You’ll jump
into your best friend’s
pool
in the middle
of winter
just to feel the
cold.

You’ll fall asleep
drunk
in someone’s
backyard
on cheap *****
that sticks
to your fingers
like pancake syrup,
and burns
like the hell
you’ll feel
the first time
you realize
he doesn’t love you
back.

Your life
will be full
of
laughter
and
heartache
and
temper tantrums
from not getting your way
at 5
and age 25.

But baby girl,
if you’re lucky,
and since you’re
your mother’s daughter,
you will be,
your life will be bursting
at the seams
with all the stars
shores
and peanut butter cups
your little body
can hold.

Maybe you’ll
grow up
and save
the world.

Maybe
you’ll slam
your car door
when you leave
and break my
heart.

Or maybe you’ll be
like me,
awake at all hours
writing down words
for someone
who doesn’t yet
exist.

But no matter
which path
you choose,
know that
I’ll always
be at the end of it
waiting for you
with sweets
and bandaids
in hand.
I’m not sure if I particularly want kids.

But if I’m lucky enough to be chosen as a momma, this one is for you, my love.
C E Ford Aug 2014
I wanted to write a poem
to tell you exactly what I felt,
but somehow the page stayed
empty,
and I couldn't have described it better.
C E Ford Nov 2014
I'm not sure
if I love very many things,
but here are the few
that I can remember:

I love the taste of dark chocolate
in November

I love the silver of the sky
just before it rains

I love first sips of coffee
from new mugs

I love the taste of oysters,
but not as much as pesto

I love that one song you'd play for me,
about the boat sinking

I love the kind of soft sadness
that reminds you of who you used to be.
C E Ford Nov 2013
We stared at the ceiling as it blackened from the lights turning off,
and the air chilling with every breath from the A.C.
Inch by inch we moved closer to each other
because we thought it was what we were supposed to do,
but little did we know that with each nudge
our electrons were sending spark signals
way before our bodies even thought about touching.

Like iron and sulfur, we synthesized
moving into each other's lives,
and leaving our pieces behind us,
swapping stories and secrets
in the cover of nightfall
with roaring laughter,
while our heads made permanent impressions
on their downy and memory foam petals
in the garden of wishes
we created.

Constantly I was with you,
just as the shore is never without the sea.
I became your shadow,
and followed you to your room,
and back again,
through the drug cartels of Mexico,
to the blizzards that lie beyond The Wall.
You became my greatest adventure
and showed me what lay beyond the door
I was always too frightened to open.

You earned a doctorate in my mannerisms,
becoming an expert on each temper tantrum,
and each shining grin that you always brought about
on the gloomiest of Wednesdays
when I ran out of milk for my cereal
and overcooked your mac and cheese.

You embraced every flaw I had,
like the father welcoming home the prodigal son,
and came to love every scar I accumulated,
thirty-eight in total,
from the hordes of others,
almost too numerous to count on ten fingers,
that constantly left me with a sewing needle,
and a bottle of Elmer's glue
to mend from each tumble
of their careless hands.


Every jagged edge of mine that cut your palms,
and left nicks on your fingertips
was smoothed by the rough edges of your beard,
and through scratchy kisses
from chapped lips.
You became my greatest blessing,
as well as my greatest weakness,
so now I constantly crave your pale face
spattered with freckles
and beautiful laugh lines
that congregate around
the warmest brown eyes
I have ever seen.

And I thought I loved you then, but
it definitely was nothing like I love you now, because
now I wake up next to you,
I make both of us coffee, and
push open the curtains to let in sunlight.
And when I wake up next to you,
I don't hate Mondays as much anymore,
And when I wake up next to you,
I feel safe,
because through the valleys of your sleeping lungs
I found where I belong.
I found my home.
C E Ford Oct 2017
When you’re seventeen
and drunk off of
poetry and
peonies
and promises,
you start to give
pieces of yourself away.

It’s easy at first,
parcelling out knees
and elbows, and
all the bits of you
the world has
taken for itself
on playground sidewalks
and crashed bicycles.

But when someone wants
not the spaces
in between your fingers
but the one in between
your legs,
wait.

Not for marriage
or God or
even the perfect person
to come along
because they never will.
And that’s okay.

Wait for yourself to grow
and to love someone
like candle fire,
a slow, bright burn
that makes the
darkness of night
seem less
frightening.

You’ll fall
in love
with people
like broken glass
that gleam under
streetlights
and cut your
hands
as soon as
you touch them.

You’ll sleep
next to lions
and cowards
and drug addicts,
some too scared
to touch you.

And some promise
to never leave
you in morning’s light
without a new scar.

Because they don’t
understand that you are
yours,
and yours
alone.

But remember
no matter
if your secret places
were found
or taken,
your light will
return to you
one day
when you least
expect it.
To those who lost control of their bodies, and to those who just gained it back, this is for you.
C E Ford Nov 2013
I crave the taste
of icy air,
of snowcapped mountains,
and rugged rock
beneath my feet.

To have wildflowers
sprout
from my fingertips,
my tongue
rich
in the language
of flowing rivers,

So that my eyes
will become
parts of constellations
with lashes
of evergreen needles,

My skin of clay,
heart of earth,
and of fire,
with thoughts
made up of
stardust
so they can touch
the moon.
C E Ford May 2014
I want to carve my initials into the parabolas of your fingertips.
I want the etchings of your ribs caged against your flesh tattooed on the back of my hand.
I want to study the Braille of your tongue with my mouth, reading my name over and over and over.
I want to kiss your spine,
read books about your heroics and cowardice, write poems about the curve of your hair,
- stop
right there, I want to sketch you,
stretch your smile on a canvas,
capture your blinks, bends, and the Cupid's bow of your lips softly,softly,softly in pencil,
shhhh.
Let the cursive of your sleeping body tell me to stay,
nestled in the dip of an l,
the stout roundness of an o,
eternity, forever,
v's sharp trajectory calculating the distance to the moon and back, remember?
And the way two e's lock together,
pinkie swear, with all my heart,
I promise to love you
everyday, and twice on Sundays,
And only like you on Tuesdays,
but when the calendar becomes a measure of affection,
Who's to say what happens in a year's time?
C E Ford Jan 2015
My mind keeps me up with poems,
but my fingers won't let me write them down.
C E Ford Dec 2013
Poetry with simple rhyme scheme
isn't really poetry at all.
It takes all the artistry of language,
and crushes their greatness
into something rather small.

It belittles the sharp peaks of your smile,
that peek through porcelain veils.
It takes the beauty of your eyes,
and brings them down to scale.

The rhyming ruins all seriousness,
true poets take in pride,
it leaves their work in ridicule,
though their emotions are implied.

It vastly understates
the warmth in your cheeks,
and incredibly discounts
the lions of your dreams,
making them seem weak.

That is why I will never write a poem
describing the perfection of you
in a silly little rhyme scheme;
that is what I shall not do.

I will, however, jest
at what rhyming cannot describe,
although it tries to do its best,
it falls by the wayside,

For limericks cannot contain
my pretentious heart and soul,
and cannot compare
to the magnificence you hold.

Because if I could contain your spirit,
in matters of stanzas and rhyme
my talents would be wasted,
this atrocity a crime,

But you make my writing worthwhile,
and give me ideas to muse,
instead of the dull and dread,
the pretender's butter and bread,
with none of my talents to use.
C E Ford Sep 2014
Why is it
every time I try to write about you
my mind
blanks,
and the typewriter
resets
to the next page?

— The End —