He crossed my path on a winding way and I knew then that he couldn't stay.
I stopped my heart from holding his, I knew nothing good could come of this.
He smelled of spring and cigarettes, a scent I never will forget.
And when he laughed, my skin crawled around, bringing me closer to the ground.
Until, at last, I was on my knees begging him to never leave.
But he turned away and was gone with the moon but he told me he would be back soon.

The low points are the hardest,
It's a never ending fight.
The monsters mock and curse you,
Unrelenting through the night.
They take all that can hurt you,
And burn it in your dreams.
You come round in a drowning sweat,
Awakened by the screams.
You lie awake and blankly stare as the blackness swallows you whole.
It's all simply too much to bear,
You've been shaken to your soul.
Your bloodshot eyes will bring questions along with the new day,
But your bleeding mind is begging you to just stay awake.

Maybe you already love me. Maybe I'm in your mind. Maybe it's all just taking just a little more time. Perhaps you're trying to find a way, a place, a spot for me. But maybe just another girl is all I'll ever be.

I never wanted to make you feel the way my heart was breaking.
I never meant for you to see the constant, steady aching.
I thought I was doing good at showing you my smile.
But I guess you can see the falsities that I've been hiding for a while.
Bless the sunshine in your soul, bless your wounded heart.
You're anything but usual, you're a walking work of art.
I'd hold you high up to the stars for all the world to see.
And hope that they could appreciate you just as much as me.

It was in the darkness, I found the way to light.
A cigarette in my mouth, staring into the night.
I called out in a deeper silence, but there was no one to hear.
Embracing my only company, I held my demons near.
They kissed my scars because they were the ones to blame.
They called me by my lies, they called me by my name.
They told me they would protect me from all my doubts and flaws.
Turns out my darkest demons were not darkness at all.
It was in the darkness I found the way to light.
It was in the darkness I found that darkness is needed to fight.

It's the saddest thing
That smile
To see it
To love it
To breathe it
And to know that it's
For
Her

I'm sick with fear, regret, and hope.
I can't focus, I can't fall, I can't fathom.
He's too much but I know nothing.
He knows nothing and we are nothing.
I've no right to feel a thing for him.
Jealousy.
Devotion.
Anger.
Love.
Because he is not mine and
I
Am
Nothing
He is indescribable.
A gift to earth.
A wrinkled nose and a beautiful laugh
A scarred hand and a blistered past.
He is a miracle.
The most beautiful **** miracle.

I've been smoking cigarettes.
Hoping to fill the void.
Completely numb.
Completely obliterated.
I've been crying.
Tears like stones.
Tears like acid.
I've been breathing slowly.
Inhales like sleep.
Inhales like knives.
I've been existing.
Life like pain.
Life like death.

I wanted it to be you so badly.
I wanted it to be you.
I wanted to touch your face
Feel your skin
Dry your tears.
I wanted it to be you.
I wanted it to be you so badly it hurt.
A slow ache that consumed me
That drowned me
That swallowed me whole.
I saw your smile
Made for her
Shown to me.
That smile that lit my world
That caused the flame
The flame that burned my soul
Burned my soul so badly it will take eternity to heal.
And even when I can stand to see the sun again,
I will still want it to be you.
Only you.

And in the end, everything she expected swallowed her at once. All of her nightmares came to her in her sleep and held her down til she stopped breathing.
At least she didn't have to wonder anymore.

I'm standing in the cold.
Too young, too old.
Never enough, never never.
Never enough to deserve forever.
All the time I've spent trying
I thought this was life but I feel like dying.

I am fire, but he is the sun.
I am afraid that he is the one.
Burning so slowly, dying so fast.
I am afraid that I won't last.
Hold me tightly, love me strong.
For I am afraid we won't have long.
I am afraid, I am afraid.
We are nothing because I am afraid.

Turns out all my fragile hope was broken from the start.
All just a cruel pathway to a shattered heart.
Again I wasn't good enough to feel the clutch of love.
Again and again I find I'm never good enough.
So end it now, everything. Let the pain and hate collide.
End it now and forevermore, I am dead inside.

Take away those soft grey eyes, take away the pain.
Take away the gentle curls, take away the rain.
Take all I'm breathing for, take it all and run.
Take all my possessions, take the loaded gun.
Take away this hopeless life, take away my dreams.
Take away the sinking ship, take away the screams.
Take away the beauty, take away the hope.
Take away the emptiness, take away the rope.
Give me back my sanity, I really haven't slept.
Give me peace, or a sharpened blade, I've got nothing left.

Maybe she doesn't
Maybe she does
It
Doesn't
Matter
Because he does
And
I do
So we aren't.

When you've had your fun and you've had your laughs and your mind starts to wonder to the past.
When your plastered smile turns to a frown and you feel your heart turning around.
When your days are short and your nights are long and it feels so impossible to be strong.
When you hear your soul cry out for me, I'm still right here where I said I'd be.