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so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.
3:06am
08.09.18

im actually drinking coffee rn. rip
I created love
In my heart
You ripped it out
Threw it on the ground
Stomp on it
Splatter my blood
Said I wasn’t good enough
We’re done

Abuse...
I saw you waltz across the restaurant
With that tray in your hand
Your movement
Your poise
So captivating
So graceful

You came to my table
With your pad in your hand
With the voice of an angel
You asked if I wanted anything
It was all I could do not to sound foolish
Not to say or do anything stupid
So taken by your beauty I am

When you took my order and left
I could not help but watch

Filling drinks
Delivering food
An exotic rhythmic dance across the floor
When you brought me my food
I felt like I was being fed by a goddess

I ate my meal
but I could not help
But glance up at you from time to time
As you glided gracefully here and there

I finished and paid for my meal
I caught one last glance of you
Then I headed out the door
The deepness of the ocean
Reminds me of the profundity of my soul
Strength of my words
Level of my patience
Power of my love
Emptiness of my eyes
And storm struggling within myself
Wrote this while I was staring at the beautiful Atlantic Ocean a few months back.
They’ll check your wrists,
But not your thighs,
They’ll check your smile,
But not your eyes
They’ll avoid the truth,
Believe the lies,
Nothing to sooth,
No reason to cry,
Our smiles are bright,
Eyes are a bit dull,
Wrists are clean despite,
The blade with an emotional pull,
And we’re emotionally unstable,
But they say that’s okay,
We are all a bit of a riddle,
But that’s the only thing we can convey,
And the world will open to swallow us up,
But that’s okay, at least our habits remain,
And when their arms finally open up,
We will show them the reflection they taught us to shame,
So we paint a smile with the color of red,
From the thighs they didn’t check,
And from our eyes we bled.
And they'll only understand,
When the noose hold us by our necks,
And if they had thought twice,

Maybe our eyes they would have checked.
My
Words
Fall out
Of my brain
Onto a blank
Page filling up
The spaces and
Lines to create a
Raw and unedited
Masterpiece that is
Trying to escape my
Head, becoming  
Transparent by
The words
That fall
Out of
My
Brain
Sleeping in a silent forest
night sky come and swallow me whole
I promise I won't protest
These stars may fill my tired soul
And these trees, oh, how I love thee
Lush and green, dark and eerie
This is where I long to be
Here is where I'd never be weary
I put my life onto the earth
Dig myself a hole for a bed
This is where lies all lifes worth
Here everything is, I miss nothing I haven't had

Roots may pervade me, leafs shall cover
And in my stead another will grow
I will dissolve in the arms of my last lover
And of all misfortune it will never speak nor will it show

On new branches my soul will hang
until another
Why do all colors have a description to them?

Red- For strength or anger
Yellow- For sunshine and happiness
Pink- For all girls
Blue- For the boys and for when you're sad
Black- For hate and fear
Purple- For luxury and ambition
Green- For nature and energy

We force people to be someone by giving them a label.
Should we do that to colors too?

Why should black be the evil one?
Why can't yellow be a way to express sadness?
Why is pink for girls?
Just why?
I wasn't so sure on posting this, but here it is. So yeah.
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