She shivers as he puts his hand on her forehead.

Ma, you have a fever, he says
and pulls up her blanket.

She closes her eyes to hold back tears.

it's your touch, son, her lips hardly move,
like rain on my arid heart, long awaited,

streams of films roll in her head,
the baby, skin of her skin, blood of her blood,
the umbilical cord never separated,
severed as the baby grew up,
a man of another woman,
the expanding distance
huddling all those cuddles into memories.

It's your touch, my son, it heals.

The son rises to call a doctor.

She knows she has no fever,
only pains of sweet memories.

I will tell
Anyone who asks
That I love you
But I will tell
Anyone who doesn't
That I don't
Because I offer lies
But reward questions
With the truth

***** This

I have been told plenty of times
by plenty of guys
that they love how submissive I am, but
that it could get me into real trouble one day.

Oh, little do they know
that it has gotten me in trouble long, long ago
my submissive nature made me afraid to say no
before I had given the situation any kind of second thought
I had told him that anything goes.

That "anything goes" left me aware of my worth;
maybe not to others,
because it was myself that was hurt.

in the manufactured waves of chlorine
my feet stand on concrete shores
and tiles grappled with maritime life
of dead leaves that have crept its way
in an ecosystem of unnatural residents
with sunken treasures buried beneath
the heavy blankets of swimmers' feet
a child's lost pair of goggles gleams
in the crevices of the ceramic seabed
sunbeams bounce off the plastic
an underwater mirage for the pool's
regular inhabitants armed in spandex
these are the common sights
of The Public Pool
and it's in the rare quiet moments
of carefully constructed serenity
when you are the sole ruler of
your concrete public pool kingdom
when your camp has been pillaged
by a thousand 5 year olds garbed
in their best hot pink speedo suits
and equipped with the best water guns
maintaining their positions like
a modern Praetorian legion swathed
in modern day mass-produced tunics
huddled in formation with limbs afloat
assembled and hungry to conduct
a carefully constructed battle of dominance
when the water surrounding you
suddenly feels too warm
it's too warm for it to be the chlorine
and you look up to see their leader –
their leader in the speedo silicone swim cap
is flushed as red as her speedo suit: a sight
against the synthetic cerulean landscape
that you realize:
you own nothing in this world
even the public pool gets invaded
even the public pool gets ****** in
so you might as well enjoy shallow ends
and every little joy life has to offer
the universe will **** itself eventually

the ocean churning
so glistening and frantic
far above my head

he leans in to tell her
"pretty ladies should never light their own cigarettes"
and they say chivalry is dead

sharing 'shrooms, spinning rooms
my love for you
keeps me higher than cloud nine

Happiness is an illusion
A concept that entices the feeble mind
Always temporary in nature
Here this moment and gone in the next

Happiness is a dream
A fantasy we have designed
A remedy for this aching world
Short term relief for a persistent ill

Happiness is a charade
Like Monopoly that grown ups play
Fictitious and devoid of reality
A farce that should only be enjoyed by children

Happiness is an idea
That sounds beautiful
The hope of every man
A right of every living soul

Happiness is a drug
That we must all partake
To drown our sorrows
So we smile and see rainbows daily