I remember the first time you Said we will be best friends
I scoffed at the idea me? Having a best friend? No
But you showed that you were I told you my darkest secret
Thinking you would bail after Hearing the awful story….But
No you stayed by my side Sticking to the idea that you
Will be my best friend. You have been there at my good
The bad, and the downward Spiral. You were my lighthouse
In the mist of the storm giving me hope to see the land

Those days where we went mini golfing and me making
Fun of the way you played and beat you on the last hole
Sinking the ball in a hole in one and winning free ice cream
The days when I invaded your study hall, lunch table, locker
Just for a laugh and to see you to do our signature pose
When we went to prom and had a super great time dancing
Picture taking and making memories that stick like paper to glue

I’m hours away, miles apart but I know you will be there no
Matter what. You’re the single most blessed thing to ever
Happen to me. Every night I look at our goofball picture
From homecoming and look at how great high school
Was, but now I’m in college. You are my Un-typical spirited
silly cheerful white girl and  many things have changed but
One thing will never change in my life and I know it
I love my best friend.

You traced every contour of my body
Every wrinkle of skin that I hate
Every cellulite budge that I find repulsive
And told me that I was beautiful in skin that I have been fighting my whole life to crawl out of.
In your arms I feel whole
The weight of the world is no longer my own
I feel weightless.
Pushing myself deeper into you
So deep that my problems no longer matter
You make it all go away
You make me feel beautiful through long nights
Through tragic days
Through pain as well as glory.
You make me feel like I can do this.
Thank you.

I refuse to be called a cysgender guy
The QSA should really stop being so gay, they should hide
We should have a straight alliance
Yes! Have a straight alliance
have a safe place for all of the kids kicked out of their homes because *mom, dad I’m straight
Have a place where the memories of the children who were killed because they acted too straight
Because we really need to stop saying That’s so straight
Have a straight alliance for the same reasons we should have a white club
I mean seriously even the asians get their own group!
Have a club for all of the c-y-s-g-e-n-d-e-r people
But make sure you don’t include the c-i-s-g-e-n-d-e-r people
Because we really need to stop labeling normal dudes
You know the ones who have *****? Not some confused ****** who got too dyked up
Because we really need people to stop saying that cysgender people will eventually grow out of it

My heart shattered
into eight pieces.
They lay there on my carpet.
Each one told me
a story.

one
My eyes meet yours
on that Monday afternoon.
I smile and so do you.

two
My hands run through your
hair as you kiss me
in the warm summer rain.

three
The sky is pink as we drive
down to the shore on your
black motorbike, laughing.

four
You're wearing a blue shirt
as we get drunk on
the thought of forever.

five
My ears are ringing from
all the screaming, I slide against
the door as you walk away.

six
My skin burns where you touched
me, you pack your clothes
in an old, weathered bag.

seven
Your lips are chapped when
you kiss me for the last time,
wrapping your arms around me.

eight
A picture flashes up on my computer,
I look at it until you're nothing
but a blurry memory.

my stomach in the bathtub
folded over and wrinkling
like the skeleton of my grandmother

hands that look too much like my father’s
blanketing my stomach like those of a cruel mother

on the best days the window next to the bathtub
is uncovered and I can see out but nobody can see in

on the best days I look down at a body
that is nothing but a pile of snow leftover
a week after the storm has past
somebody has forgotten to shovel me whole

there is a damp hole in my stomach and I am
staring at it unsure if I want it to melt
wondering who might fit shoveled inside

i pull away in the nick of time
right before he captures his lips with mine
he grabs my shoulders
my meekness making him bolder
and as i struggle he pulls me in closer
as if this changes the fact that this is part of an older
struggle for dominance
but aware of an audience
i shrug out of his violent embrace
as his angry fingers try to erase
my fear of his anger
my fear that he will linger
in this ferocious dispute
of me trying to escape you
bruises bloom as you glide your hand down my arm
as you make everyone forget with your charm
bruises bloom in my heart
as your words tear me apart
bruises bloom in my mind
as you blind
the ones that could mend
the bruises you tend
like a garden of blue green
roses

bring a book with you everywhere; you never know when you're going to be waiting longer than you intended.

- remember to take time out of your busy day to pause for a few seconds. listen to that clock tick. breathe. you're alive. the world is spinning around you and deep beneath your feet lies a fiery core. breathe. you're alive.

- you are worth so much more than you think and don't you dare settle for anything less.

- walk out of your home with open arms, instead of folded arms, because it's much easier to catch whatever life throws at you with open arms.

- remember to take breaks. you're human, not a robot.

- it's okay not to do anything you need to do. we all need those days. don't feel guilty for staying in bed when you should have been doing something important. again, you're human. it's okay.

- smile at strangers.

- read more. it could be the back of your shampoo, or an advert on the train. just read.

- sometimes you won't know what to do. this doesn't make you weak.

- remember, sometimes you won't get back the amount of love you gave away. you must be understanding. you must be willing to move on.

- lastly, please remember to keep trying with that casserole. one day, you'll get it right... (or near enough edible, anyway).