I have forgotten
The sound
Of your voice
I try to recreate it
In memories
In photographs
And I never quite remember
The exact tone of your voice
I feel you disappearing
Losing your dimensions
Becoming just a photograph
Flat, lifeless
And I struggle
To build you out of shadows
And pieces of memories
But what can you do
With a puzzle
Of incomplete pieces
I miss you more now
Than I did before

I take the long route home
Twisting and winding
Around the bends
Searching for rainbows
In clear blue skies
I still find you
In the clouds
A safe place for me
And daydreams
As I retell our story
Before I get home

In the evening
Turn off the lights
Slip on my headphones
And I disappear
Into thunderous beats
My feet learn to fly
As I dance around
In the living room

I only dance in the dark
Even on a full dance floor
I find a corner
Tucking myself in shadows
Allowing the beats to spin
Around, around my waist

So at night
I dance
Stomping out my emotions
Tears and rage
Cascading out with each step
Leave my bones aching

And I fall forward
Allowing my tears to escape
In beads of sweat
I only dance in the dark
Letting my emotions ache in bones
And upon bruised palms

It takes seconds
For the fire to spread
And it took down
Small towns first
Ripping apart families
Names scattering, fleeing
And we all watch
The media speculated
All the loss history
Displaced heartbeats
And rationalize it
Then it hit cities
Seas of red and orange
Licking and devouring
Neighborhoods
And politicians wanted to blame
Everyone but themselves
When it expanded passed borders
We all went silent
Countries transformed into tattered pages
People swirling around, around
Astronauts said groups looked like storms
Tornados bouncing from land to land
As red slowly spread
Flickering orange
Spreading like a pair of wings
Encompassing the earth

I cry these days
When I read positive news
Something shatters in me
And I think it is hope
Apathy has become a bedfellow
An unwanted lover loitering nearby
I feel myself falling apart, alone
My eyes find dark space
Settling there, trying to disappear
My bones grinding into the ground
Until rooted fingers born from their shavings
Grip my lungs, squeezing tighter and tighter
And my life screeches from chapped lips

A lonely star
Isolated in space
And I dream
Of planets
Touching their atmospheres
Feeling them
Slip smoothly between fingers
Isn’t that love
To gather fingers
In an embrace
To pull someone close
Into your gravity
Whisper them a lullaby
Absorbing their opulence
Falling away into darkness
Constellations of rendezvouses
And this is how
Comets are made

Balance
Comes in the morning
Before chaos
Has settled into its afternoon
Routine, I pause
In these moments
Hands open and flat
Slowly breathing, allowing
The light to capture
Me evenly