i sip from the wineglass
holding the stem as though I am
high class
the liquid splashes into my mouth, waking my tastebuds
the bubbles burn my throat as I
chug and chug and
no - i lightly sip
and wait for the days when it is socially acceptable to my mother
to drink something stronger than red
mountain dew, mixed with juice

who cares if the spaghetti sticks to the ***
who cares if a guest shows up late
it's not her 18th birthday
it's my baby brother's
and I'll wear my nose ring if I want to

Red-blooded love
Blue-blooded veins
You left me again
Purple stains

I love you for your laughter
your soft hair
the morning routines I tried to adopt, that you have down to a science
the way you gaze into the abyss
with tender expressions
the careful footsteps
the blushing falseness
the pretty lace and ribbons
the black eyeliner and studded collars


BUT

beards and hunting and fishing
flannels and strength and handsome fellers
truck stops and smoking
whiskey and bonfires
g i joe and spiderman

but most of all batman and joker
the complications of comics

gaming on friday nights with bottles of bud
I love men and boys and women and girls and ladies and gentlemen

to pick up women
and leave them gently

to avoid confrontation
and when it's necessary

to treat your acne
and wear it well anyways

to love heavy metal
and frank sinatra

to love our mother
and to disregard her opinion

i lied for you
i cried with you
we shared each moment
learning together

i will die for you
little brother

Will you make my mistakes?
will you love and be loved?
will you hurt and be hurt?

I fear to watch you leave the nest
Though I understand you can't stay any longer.
I don't want you to grow up like me.
I may be a bad girl and share all my adventures with you
some of the time it's so you'll learn without ever experiencing.
Others I want you to live on your own and try everything!
You love me enough to know the difference
Please be strong
Little ladykiller