I can't even think about waiting to kiss you without replaying the thoughts of him in my head.
I think about you all the time but he always gets in the way.
And I am so ******* tired of having to deal with the feeling of his hands scratching down my back and his words whispering in my ear.

He's left these scars on my chest, these memories, these marks.

I lay down on my bed and think of you but all I see is him.
Every person I pass by is suddenly him.
I try to explain how we can't even have *** with the light on because then it becomes too real. I relive the past and I ****** into a pit of tears as you hold me telling everything will be okay.

How do you know that? How can you be so sure? How can I ever really be with you if when I look into your eyes I see his.

I **** her collarbone leaving little bites
Our bodies, against each other still fights
She leaves her nails' marks on my back
Like a big ****** heart attack
She places her hand on my chest
But I'm not letting her rest
She whispers "Stop making me *** you naughty boy"
And under the bed takes a *** toy
Red handcuff, I lock her on the bed
She looks at me "please, Mr, **** me bad"

I looked her dead in the eye and slide myself inside
I went faster than normal as she squealed in delight
I grabbed on her waist while thrusting in deep

She slows me down and looks at the clock,
Still moaning she says "Please, stop"
I ask her if she's okay
And with a sweet voice she has nothing to say
Its 8 in the morning, I need to go home son
I put my clothes on leaving, she says biting her lip "come tomorrow in the afternoon"

Darling I've been here before
I've held these hands,
I've met these eyes
I used to think we could be together
One sweet night was all I got
But it was a paradise
One I'd only tasted in dreams
But now it's just a bitter memory
Of mistakes made and hearts broken
Now you have her and I have me
Yet perhaps not even she has won
You still say you're happiest
Wrapped in my arms
As if it's her fault you didnt choose me
I thought I'd move on
I knew I'd still be broken
But I'd be okay
Well I was wrong
I'm only fine as long as we're apart
And the sun is shining
And I don't have to think
Or feel
A thing
But when I see you
Or her
Or smell the rain
Or choose Orange
Or hear any of our songs
I have to admit to myself
That I am far from recovery

But if I had the chance to do it all again
To turn back the clock, and relive
Those two short months
When nothing came between us
I'd take it
Even knowing how the story ends

i'm fighting trying to fill the
void you left with mindless
*** and too many cigarettes
i'm addicted to one or the other
and i wish i could tell which
but until i figure it out i guess
i'll continue drowning myself
in warm flesh and smoke
this isn't going very well and i
wish i could say otherwise but
lately everything's gone to ****
and you're never around

It was you.
It was always you.
Your laugh, your smile, your beautiful voice.
When you sang, it was as if the whole world was condensed in that magnificent moment
There was nobody else. Just me and you. You and I.
But with the fading of your song, the song of our love faded.
We grew dark. I grew darker.
Fists were raised, glasses broken and your inspiring voice became the source of pain, hate and fear.
Your voice broke me.
Your words tore through our love – separating it into shards of non-existence. Pieces so small that they could not survive on their own. Like grains of sand on the beach they were blown away and ****** into the abyss of loneliness.
Too small to be fitted back together. Too fragile to mend. Too broken to repair.
My love still exists.
It has healed over time without you.
It gains momentum from the fleeting images of magical moments spent together when your voice was soft and your touch was gentle.
My love transcends you, us.
My love no longer dampens my eyes nor wishes my heart to stop beating.
My love is happy. My love is free.
My love no longer needs your voice to survive. It breathes on its own, it has its own voice.
I hope your love is alive. I hope you are in love. I hope you love yourself.