Drown out my own thoughts
With music and pain--
I can't stand myself.
Being the monster inside of my head
Has changed my perspective.

Never was I kind, good, beautiful.
Selfish-- yes.
How could I expect to be anything else?
Ugly to the core,
Scared of what others thought of me.
I needn't to...
They never thought of me.

I was only a pretty face to talk to
When everyone else was missing.
Never belonging anywhere,
Absorbed by the background,
Hiding from my memories,
The happy ones that could take me from this misery,
But those things happened too long ago to

Help.

I need you,
My mind is screaming,
The monster is winning,
I am becoming nothing but
Dust.

I'm in love with pain,
But no longer want to hurt myself.
This desire doesn't vanish--
It grows stronger,
Unbearably strong,
To the point that I pinch myself
To see if I'm still alive in my numb world.
So I run,
Run from my pain--
And to make myself hurt.
--It is better this way.

About how
Your lies hurt more deeply
Than
The truth they hide.

This is not to say that i don't still look at peoples wrists or that i finally know why i'm here
its not to say that i like that you have scars on your wrists but that i find comfort in knowing that you won't judge me because you understand what it feels like to be attacked by your thoughts and have them wreak havoc on parts of you that only come out when the moon does and how sometimes you lie to your friends because you know they care but you tell yourself they don't
because it makes you feel better without feeling too good
in the sense that you know sadness is an addictive trait and you know better than to let it consume you but you let it anyway because it makes you feel more human
and this is to say i know that you wont judge me when i say even after all the warmth i still prefer the rain over the sunlight.

The salty sweat of his chest
lingered on my lips,
so I tasted

pulled into the depths
of all his discovered
unknowns
my crevices of happy findings
warm tidings
delightful hidings

shut eyes, thoughtful, reliving
memories, flood of pleasure
losing control
I could smell his savage desire,
anticipation giving me chills

we find an everlasting truth
that even though
this distance will remain
we're bound through many domains
and no matter the end result
you and I
can't feel this real
from any other

*s.q.

He was reading
So was she
She was giggling
Full of glee
His heart stopped
When their eyes met
She knew it'll be the first
She would never forget

He tried to approach her
But to no avail
His heart pumped faster
He knew he would fail

She was eagerly waiting
Wondering why he didn't move
Is there something on her face?
Did something came loose?

He broke through enmity
Believing it could be more
He got up and accidentally-
Yelled his name out!
"CAN WE BE FRIENDS!?"

She laughed so loud
He thought she was like the rest
He was about to leave
When she pulled him
*"Hi, my name is …….."

If you are the       W
                                             I
                                                      N
    ­                                                            D,
­                          Am I a
                                                                ­         Rose
             Or the
                               Dust
                                                          ­                               You kicked up
                                                              ­  As you passed by?

I know the truth buried under the lies
I know the face hiding behind the mask
I know the pain locked behind a smile
I know the laugh sealing in the hurt
I know the phrases covering the truth
It was the cat
I fell into a thorn bush
It's just a scratch
I know the pain you've endured
Find your voice and speak the truth
It wont go away if you don't try
They wont stop laughing on their own
The pain wont just disappear
The tears wont suddenly stop flowing
Find your voice and speak up
You're strong and beautiful
Please stay awhile dear