thankful for each time you kissed me,
     and tried to mend my open wounds.
thankful for the pain you gave me,
     I know its for my own good.
thankful for the scars you caused me,
     continuing to show me that I will overcome.
But most of all.
thankful for the day you left me,
     so I can be whole again.

I have to constantly tell myself that I didn’t love him.
I used him
he used me
for comfort, and comfort only.
I’ve only ever loved one human being in that way on this planet. 

And it’s okay
because when I tell myself I didn’t love him
I know we were in the same place.
Our chests were both hurting from someone else
hammering
nails
into
our
hearts.
We needed each other then
but we didn’t love each other ever.
A.p.

If only love
Lasted as long as
These fragile cases
We call bodies.

Instead,
Like simmering water
It reaches boiling point;
Slowly evaporating,
Leaving a cool, bare surface.

I get high and I don't think of you.
          ****** out of mind,               and somehow you're not on mine
  What do I do when all my reality is hazey and you're finally gone?
Soon you'll appear out from behind the fog in my eyes.
                               And haunt me.

None of my words will bring you back,
No amount of tears will make you see the pain you put me through.

You are not allowed to hurt me.
You may not  be in charge of my life.
    It's not my fault she broke you
    It's not my fault you fight
    It's not my fault that you can't control your own life.

But the truth is, I've grown so accustomed to seeing your face, holding your hands, kissing your lips, sleeping in your bed, that I don't think I can go without you for one more day.

Life taught through
multiplication of tragedy

Time goes by
Days turn to weeks
I just keep making the same mistakes.