Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I noticed a small scar on my German teacher's elbow today
It called to me, reeled me in, filled my senses
It whispered of days and nights thought long-gone
When any sharp object in reach would do
When any little remark or joke or situation would set me off
It whispered of the sound of skin parting
And the bite of metal
And the eureka! of blood
And the taste of satisfaction
It whispered of the moment of peace
Tranquillity
When everything becomes nothing
And pain becomes everything
And nothing is painful

Then I remembered the tears of my mother
The horror in my friends' eyes
The shame I felt
The bitterness before each guilty slice
The stubbornness inside me screaming don't let it win!
The worry they feel
The pain I cause them
By causing pain to myself
And I return to reality
And she is still talking
Oblivious to my dip into darkness

I have won the battle
But the war will not be over for a long, long time
I walk along, my glass feet clunking
But you long ago found you could drown out the sound

Struggling to keep up, my glass lungs heaving
But you long ago learned to be unconcerned

Lapping up snatches of conversation, my glass lips laughing
But you long ago grew bored of the girl who is now ignored

Lagging behind, my glass legs tired and aching
But you long ago blocked out my desperate shout

Screaming in frustration, my glass throat cracking
But you long ago stopped seeing my clear, colourless being

Sobbing and lonely, my glass soul shatters
And you turn
And you remember
**How pretty I look when I'm broken
i like the feel of your hand in my and chipped
nail polish because you always make fun of me for
it and the way you smile at me then, like
you're trying so hard not to laugh
fills me with a kind of eternal happiness that
i crave and maybe that's why i like writing
your name on my hand because it reminds
me of sumshowers and accidental kisses-
it reminds me of hide and seek in the rain and bear hugs
and the ever changing color of your braces,
it reminds me of central park and late night
conversations and coffee and indigo and music and
snowball fights and wildflowers and--
you
writing your name on my hand makes me happy
because it reminds me of all the memories
i have with you and it wills me to make even more
until then though, i'll just keep writing your name on my hand
(h.l.)
"i like the summer rain, i like the sounds you make, we put the world away we get so disconnected," - Disconnected, 5 Seconds of Summer
 Apr 2015 Ash Saveman
authentic
I want to describe to you everything that you are
So you will consider
Letting us redefine what it means to start over
We can relay the foundation better this time
We can stand beneath the sky and wait for the planets to shape themselves around my newly intertwined bodies
You are the first drop of rain in a hurricane
You are the misunderstood tragedy
You are striking lightning slicing open the dark with luminous allure
You are coloring everything outside the lines
You are the poem everyone feels they should reread
You are the stem from a root planted in the belief that you have done something wrong in some way
You have not done anything wrong
I want to show you everything I failed to reveal before
Open new doors, let the cool breeze some in from my bedroom window, anything to make you want to stay here
My world is waiting for you to set it on fire
So whenever you're ready
Tell me that you miss what it feels like
To light a match
And there you are
I'm sitting next to you
And I can feel you everywhere
I wonder what you smell like
Is that weird
I shouldn't be so nervous
And there you are
Your lips are on mine and I feel infinite
Its as though I can feel for the first time
How did I breathe without you
I can't stop this
Or my feelings for you
How did this happen
God if only I could breath you in
And keep you with me forever
It was only suppose to be a kiss
You know that feeling when your jumping?
Your feet leave the ground
And for a second you're flying
Your breathe is quick
And your arms fly out
Searching for something to grab
That's what it's like to love you
That slight fear of landing too hard
Falling and not being able to get back up
But the feeling of being lifted is there
The feeling that you can kiss the sky
I guess that's what I'm trying to say is
I hope you catch me
I look at you and I don't see flaws
I don't see someone who is "sad"
I don't see anything wrong with you
I see you
I mean I honestly see you
The way you laugh nervously when I'm staring at you
Or the way you way your smile catches my breath
Or the way your eyes reflect the most beautiful soul
Can you see that?
Can you see how much you mean to me?
Well I finally did it
I made a choice
And I think its right
Im sorry that I ever met you
Not because of emotions
But because of you
I wish I could have spared you
I wish I could take all of pain away
I wish I wish
But that doesn't change anything
I thought we were friends
Maybe even best friends
But I guess they were right
And now it's finally time
No longer stuck between hello and goodbye
This is it
There is nothing left for me to say
Except everything
 Apr 2015 Ash Saveman
Love
I'm done repressing my gayness
Because it's the "Christian" thing to do.
I will wear ******* rainbow ****** pasties
And march in a pride parade
If I please
And then go to church and praise Jesus
And God and the Holy Spirit
For making the way I am
And how I am
Because he made me perfect.
I am gay
I am Christian
I am proud to be both.
There's a tight rope laid in front of me
I've been balancing for some time
Never moving just waiting
But I can wait no more
And neither can you
To fall or to walk
The decision is mine
I've been waiting for so long
For a gust of wind to *******
To decide for me
But this is my life
And faith is for the weak
Next page