Ash Saveman: Favorites

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

"Gay"

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

ern kingham

"Gay"

I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean happy.

#love #gay #happy #iloveyou #lgbt #truestory #boylikesboy #girllikesgirl

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

gay

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

A Mareship

gay

The English vice,
Some Etonian curse –
Set down in grass
And purple verse,

Lavatory bred
With ransacked blood,
Skin slapping and
With a falling thud –

Takes boys at childhood,
Wishes them away,
With promises of popper fuelled buffets,

And poisons them with
Vice and virus red,
And sees them unmarried
Giving head.

I don’t regret a single thing I am,
I’ve tried it out
And can’t abide the sham –

I’ll **** men
And make them beg for more,
I’ll scrabble for their love upon the floor,

I’ll love men
And love will love me too,
I’ll love for love’s own sake
And when I’m through

I’ll die and I’ll be thankful that your hate
Never made me beg that I was straight.

I don't generally write on the topic of being gay, although I write a lot about boyfriends etc. Being gay is not really an issue for me, but every now and then someone will make a comment that will ******* enrage me, hence this poem. Let's stick together, doesn't matter who we fall in love with, let's not be ashamed of anything. x

#love #gay #pride #fuckyou

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

Gay

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

RF

Gay

If I wasn't gay would people care?
Would they actually let me breath the same air?
Could I actually go to school,
without people being so cruel?
Could I live in a world with no hate?
Maybe people would love me if I was straight.
It's not as easy as people think.
I can't just go to a shrink.
I didn't choose to be this way.
You really think I'd want to be gay?
I don't want attention,
I don't want fame.
This isn't some sort of game.
I am who I am and thats okay.
Most people don't see it that way.
I only wish I could be the same.
To have a wedding and it not be shamed.
I want to have kids and not be judged.
I don't want my reputation smudged.
But apparently I'm different now.
Sick in the head somehow.
Therapy and shock treatment for something that can't be fixed.
How did I get put into this mix?
Toxic and tragic,
that's my life.
It's like I was stabbed in the back with a knife.
I'm gay,
what's wrong with that?
I get treated like some rat.
Using your holy books and your religion.
To fight against something that makes no difference.
I want to be a human not a punching bag.
Always getting called a ***.
Let that word have power and it gets to you.
But that words as good as whatever is stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love being this way.
I don't care what you say.

#gay

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

Ascetic Reflection

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

Derekis

Ascetic Reflection

Aside the step which sounds hollow..
Bringing the solitude that as a shadow follows,
stranded in deep thought with pain and focus,
in this spot, another self has been brought.

Forming amidst the dark recess of a suicidal mind,
Desperation and longing for an end, combined.
Ego finds death and rebirth in kind.
A hellish pact has been signed.

Letting go of the remainder of a failing life..
An unholy dark tool, a carving knife.
Motivation and purpose sparks from this new strife.
Who else can think of a more satisfying rise?

Waking up on the hospital bed,
everything seems so shallow.
Only the new being in my stead
understands what lies ahead.

Blue skies in its eyes..
Free from the lies..
It has won it's prize.

#suicide #death #dark #demons #monster #sickness

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

shipwreck

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

heather leather

shipwreck

some people don't believe in ghosts,
but i am not one of those people,
because you are a ghost
in every sense of the word
//
whenever i close my eyes, i
do not see black anymore instead i see
your body strung up in your closet
with your eyes closed, as if you were at rest
i don’t know where you are but hopefully you
are getting some rest because i am
tearing myself apart because it doesn’t seem like
you’re gone
the curtains they’re half opened just like you left it
the kitchen is still a mess
the coffee stain that you promised to clean up but didn’t
is still there and i swear when i close my eyes and then
put my head on your pillow i can still hear
your even breath against my neck
and those are the only nights i ever get any sleep
so excuse me for thinking you’re not gone
because in my mind you aren’t
you’re still there next to me on the coach
and you are still complaining about how unrealistic everything is;
you are still next to me and i know that because i am telling you to
shut up, shut up, shut up
my therapist says that it’s my brain’s way of
coping with pain but that doesn’t make any sense to me
because my heart is still beating
and if my brain really wanted to cope with pain it would
shut down, it would collapse; like your body did when
it couldn’t handle the pain
because let me tell you something: i can’t handle this pain
this never ending torture of dancing delicately around the fact that
you are dead and i am very well alive even though
i don’t want to be, even though my hands have no purpose
without holding yours, my arms
nothing but useless props anymore and that is why
you are very well alive in
my mind because if you weren't i know that i would collapse

some people don't believe in ghosts,
but i am not one of those people,
because you are a ghost
in every sense of the word.

(h.l.)

the first stanza and the last are from unwritten's poem "ghost" and it's amazing. i highly encourage you all to read it

#love #heartbreak #pain #shipwreck

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

White Leopards.

Apr 2015 Ash Saveman

Paul Hardwick

White Leopards.

Born was a leopard
who only had two spots
well I say spots
but more like dots
one on his ****
and the other at the end of his tail
this leopard was no snail
infact
this leopard was so fast
that when god painted him
he just shot past.

Not so true story, but good all the same P@ul.