i am
so tired
of these men
stripping me down
and
leaving me bare
interrogating me
with no words
left to spare
it's never new to me
i try not to care
but
somehow
i find
i'm always left shook
like a winter night's
tree limbs
the wolves come in
sheep's skin
i let them in
they rob me
blind, tender
of heart
of soul
of peace
even
my mind
i surrender.
i feel empty -
i am.
from all that’s
been took...
i am so
****
tired
of these men
who love me
then leave me
exposed in my sin.

My blessing came
in a designer gift wrap -
Karma.
The box made of Rejection.
filler sheets of many colors..
..Deceit
…Embarrassment
…..Betrayal
……Jealousy
layered on top
of some
crumpled shreds
of Self-doubt and Insecurity.

— had to tear through
some things to get
to the goods —

The best present I’ve ever gotten -
a whole new Heart;
with me forever to stay.
Solace in knowing
all the junk that came
before Her,
I get to throw away.

I watched a ******* the train.
I watched the small grin
slowly form across her face.
But her features didn't change.
I blinked and still
I watched the ******* the train.
Her mouth never moved...
I watched it in her eyes and knew
there was poetry in her mind.

Curiosity lifted my face from the ground.

You asked me
what I required.

But our truth was still
mystery at that time.

I said
from You -

It was only silence.
You said o-k but still found a way

to pass your vibrations
along my sense.

Lit a flame and made a riot of
my mind's

already
slow-burning fire..

And I had to turn the volume back down.

4/30/2018 3:46 am

Man
I feel like a woman
I've got hair up under my pits
No bra restricting my ****
Peach is fuzzy
but you can still get to the pit
If you ain't *****.
It feels good to be a woman.

True

enough to
Admit
when I'm
traumatized.

Optimizing this
brewed
agression
in me -

- It's a new transgression
from my

normalcy.

living off
of apologies and time
spent in desperation
recollecting and reflecting
on where
all of the good vibes went
then
I may have smoked them.

underestimating my
control
of the situation
like I'm not
educated in protecting
my Peace
and healing my whole
mind, body
and Spirit

deflecting questions of
my integrity
all
because I prefer
complexity -
it takes me
three lefts
to make it right.

also some
times
I have to remind
myself
that it's okay
to cry
boiling hot emotions
got this little black kettle
singing high

currently
I'm choking
on the
hard pill
of a broken home
..heartache
worse than a broken bone
this is admitting to myself
that
I could be traumatized.
True.

I need a
get away
like Lenny says
quick break
with Mary, Garcia
and Vega
the only chance I ever get
to take flight.

in all Honesty
I am really
tired
of people
pushing me
and pulling me.
college drop-outs
they think
they schooling me
they are
tools to me.
Shorty,
swing my way
with that hammer
No
I'm not
driving for that *****.

some say real
Love is
Black
some say it's
blue..
I say it's both
you know
the winners
always leave with
a little
bruise .
or two . .
or3 . . .

there probably may come
a time of day
where
you have to choose
whether
to lose
yourself
in this matrix
or
to fight
by your own rules
and well

Here

is to you,
my Little Light
your presence is proof
that some
times
choosing
True
Love is
the right thing to do.

how many hearts did you have to break
before you finally made it to mine?

The significance of memories

is something profound
                                  
                            a­nd intricate.

Through memories do we achieve immortality,
thus through the holders of memories
do we create the essence
of everlasting;

                                Loss


emerges as a facet of coping with sudden change,

Lost
loved ones...
valuables...
   time...
     opportunities.
but we can appreciate the silent endeavor
to generate everlasting existence