boy, do I miss
you
everything about
you
when you kissed
me
I felt supernovas
exploding and
you
left bruises staining
my
neck that
I
never want
to heal.

Its 4 am the stars are out
words I didnt know existed were leaving my mouth

this boy appeared in my dreams
he showed me freedom and a little bit of danger
the words he spoke made me feel alive
when he touched me for the first time
I melted like snow when the sun is shining bright

black hair, darker than my soul
sparkling green eyes that could read my mind
curly hair and a golden smile

he was heartless but everyone has a heart
and I love him for being ashamed to show it

I fell in love with this boy but I dont even know his name
I wish we could hang our picture in a silver frame

oh strange boy that I have met in my dreams
please come into my life and make me believe
the world can be a good place

Home doesn’t have an address.
home has a beating heart and sweaty palms

please be mine.

I counted back from ten inside my head
whising you were still laying in my bed

She smiled at the stars like they knew all her darkest secrets
and all the hopeless kids on the street laughed at me
because deep down inside we all knew the universe didn't

Being reckless became a part of my life
somtimes my hair was navy blue and other days it was black
I loved the smell of danger and I liked being afraid

I wish we could start all over again
we would lay down together
surounded by pink flowers and a ***** mind

You could never keep your mouth shut
or say something positive

this boy hated the world and everyone in it
except for me

and thats why I felt like the most special person
in the world whenever I was near him.

I might get a bit drunker when I am around you.
drinking away the shame and nerves is what I am made of these days.
more ***** than water in my blood.

I woke up this morning looking at the sun, being greatfull for living.
sometimes Im thinking about never going home again, but I aint leaving you.
my ego always was bigger than my heart. but that didnt stop me from loving you.

putting your favorite song on repeat is like drowing in your favorite drink.
after a while the taste is gone and it makes you want to jump of a bridge.
doing things you would have never done in real life, but it made you feel alive.

its really not that bad keeping your life a secret.

the road back
to everything I have ever left behind

something that would keep me save from myself.
a person that would love me for all I ever was.
the girl with the bright smile was allready dead before you met her.

a bottle of ***** was what tasted like love.
feeling nothing was what made her feel alive.

thoughts are dark just like the crings underneath my eyes.
an another beautiful young soul is turning into dust tonight.

I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.
I loved the stars so fondly even the moon looked back at me.
The truth is I dont need someone in my life to tell me that I am special, god told me I am.
He wants me to give love and all I get back for that is tears on my face and scars on my body.

Its not complicated to be the girl nobody truely cared about.
You may be miles away but my demons aren't.
They would never mistreat me and mistake my tears for a smile.
The prove of being ugly isnt a sign of the stars, it comes from the heart.

I have cried a lot of tears knowing nobody would cry for me.
So maybe this time it is good to be alone in the dark.
Try to pull yourself out this time and make a promise not to tell a single soul
about our little secret. Not that someone would really care.
They see your outside not knowing what is going on, on the inside.
I can't drown my demons they know how to swim. They will catch me sleeping.

I was the girl who never was afraid of anything in the world. They called me fearless.
I always was a good actress, being the lovely and popular girl never was a hard role.
Being a dissapointment is another thing. My life is fail wasted with a bottle of *****.
My life isn't going up because my thoughts are falling down and wanting to be dead,
never was this of big deal this year. I am scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all. I never was good with my emotions anyway.

The blades make me feel comfortable and the cuts make me feel like an outcast.
I always knew I was different from my friends, they never called me this but deep down
inside I knew I was the ******, the outsider and nobody really did like me.

When people want something from you they will do anything to get that thing.
Even if it is just to get their needs, yes I am talking about man.
Being a doll in one of this stupid games always was my biggest struggle.
I am a believer in love, knowing I will never get it. because nobody really cares.

The blood makes me feel alive. It reminds me that I am not dying. not yet.

I always wonderd what heaven looks like, even though I am going to hell.
Being a good person is the hardest thing I am dealing with in my life.
May god forgive me for the things I have done and for the things I am going to do.

My head is going to explode soon.
Tell Satan I said hello.

I see the flowers are blooming again
Bees are humming around
Beauty is now no more hidden
Nature plays its role silently

I touch, touch and feel again
I touch, touch the time
That fills my heart again

Butterflies are rounding me
Grasshoppers are playing through the garden
As if my memories play with my springtime

I touch, touch and feel again
I touch, touch the time
That fills my heart again

There is no pain no sorrow
As if I am playing with my pal
When I was a boy and mother
Waiting for me at the end of the tract

I touch, touch and feel again
I touch, touch the time
That fills my heart again

the best kind of love they say is the one without any expectations. loving someone who may never feel the same about you.  love in which you give your everything and ask for nothing in return.most beautiful kind of love but also most painful one. sometimes its damage is irreversible.

Pain is like a ******* bestfriend
always with me, no matter what.