haha
in my religion
music is forbidden
because it captivates the heart

it really does

It'd be great if i wasnt on the verge of breaking down 24/7

I said I was okay,
                and another person was deceived.

It used to be
That I would escape the world
Through sleep

Then the nightmares came
And now
I am not even allowed
That 'luxury'

I once had a human heart
It beat right in my ears
Now the buzzing of a fly
Seems to have replaced
All the inner sounds
That were eating me
From within.

There is this girl
With cute tiny feet
And she once was my friend.
Now she's screaming
Writing a suicide letter
On ***** sheets.
Sheets I climbed into
Without guilt,
Without remorse,
Without emotion.

I said, "sorry I am poison.
I contaminated you
But you shouldn't have touched me."
I said,
"I try to live up to expectations
But most of the time I fail.
Most of the time I hurt me."

She wasn't listening anyway.
For her, I had ceased to exist.
For her I had no heart beat.

But I hope she can still
Hear hers.


F.Z.**N

Emptiness cloaks me,
In a veil of sorrow.
Blinding me from
Sharpened daggers cutting
Deep, painting my soul.

Fragmented into the
Little nothings that compile
Into my gestalt consciousness.
A whole greater than
The sum of my broken pieces.

Rain clouds roll in.
Bathing me in warm downpours.
Cleansing away crimson,
Reminders of days past.
Water trickles through
The cracks in my bones
Gently caressing my wounds,
Retelling warstories, whispering
"It will be okay. "