when i fall,
i don't just fall in love.
clumsily, i stumble
down and then i land

awkwardly and graceless,
stuttering utterly at the foot
of a handsome man,

blundering an apology
out of breath, ineptly
embarrassed about
my shaky hands,

clambering
to dust myself off,
all the while, i try,
desperately, to stand

wishing i could disappear,
i rise as quickly as i can
waving off any helping hand

so he doesn't see
how incredibly stupid
i must be

I* want you to dance


with me forever, breathe my

air and love the pretty

night as I do

to take in every


yellow sunset streaked with

orange and red

u**s for eternity or


                for as long as you'll have me.

I'm either too much,
Or not enough,
It's never in-between,
And when you,
Look at me,
I don't know,
What you see.

Broken.
Ripped apart.
Empty.
A void that needs to be filled.
Feeling nothing,
but the constant disappointment that rises up with every word written,
with every thought shattered like glass
Left on the floor
For someone else to walk over
For someone Looking for something,
but never finding
and never knowing why,
always needing,
only ever understanding
That nothing feels right
And every idea is ephemeral
Chopped up into tiny pieces
Then gone in  Seconds
Drifting away with every thought
Flying high like lost birds
And they never seem to find their way home now
The words are never together
Covered with scribbles that look like waves
Yet they don't flow like a river
They crash and smash into each other as they were a stormy sea
They Jump around the page
And when spoken aloud
All the words clash
Falling to the ground like droplets of rain
And it's over again
A page is filled with nothing but scribbles
And ideas that never fully form
Half done before it's given up and ripped out.
A pen is picked up
A page is turned
and everything starts again.

Its been a while,
since i finally accepted
the end.
But my heart still aches,
everytime i think
of how we ended.

And if i could go back,
I wish i could tell you:
I stayed for so long not ,
not because i was weak.
But because i believed
in the good person in you.

I left, not because you
stopped wanting me,
but because i no longer
loved myself by loving you.