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And eventually, you will meet someone,
out of the hundreds of people you’ve met in your life.
She’s ordinary and does the same things like everyone.
She wakes up in the morning, fix herself a cup of coffee,
does household chores, work her way out through the day,
drinks wine, read thick novels, and sleeps soundly at night.
But she will turn your world upside down.

This seemingly ordinary human being who is like
any other human being suddenly starts to become
the only human being in your life.
And you start to ask questions.

Like, why her? Why now?
Why does your heart beats faster when
she’s around and slows down when she’s not?
Why do you dream of her? Why do you see a future with her?
Why is your mind filled with the image of her face,
her warm smile, the curves of her body,
the roundness of her *******, the thickness of her thighs?

Why is her laugh the most beautiful music you’ve ever heard?
Why do you feel wonderful and glad when she says your name?

Suddenly, everything just seems to lighten up.
You are entering uncharted territories and
it feels so good to get lost in some place
that isn’t just built for sleeping and dreaming,
isn’t just four-walled and filled with furniture.

Home, more than buildings, houses,
and four-walled rooms, can be a pair of arms
around your body, like a second skin on you,
a birthmark you can never get rid of,
a memory you will never forget.
What once was
  Never happened
  The way we thought that it did.
Become aware of how it has been,
And how it shall be again.

So when my mind
Concurs to you who
  Loves to lie beneath my skin.

My truth divides  
Two sides
Colliding  
  
Truth and denial
At war within.
My pencil scribbles
on this empty sheet
defining the story of my life.
Incoherent lines for
incoherent thoughts,
unable to describe this strife.

These useless words dance
on the empty edges of lined pain.
These ruthless monsters rejoice
on  the empty corners of my brain.

My mind is a battlefield
of meaningless words
and demons of the past.
The only hero left
is a sole broken soul
that'll never even last.

But one look at you
and the lost soul is no more.
Something new flickers,
there's some hope for the war.

But the flicker of hope vanishes
as the last straying colors fade grey.
The hero knows it is a zero,
and doesn't want you to stay.

Because I'd let hope in to help,
but it's too late to try.
I have to fight this battle myself
Can't let you in to drown and die.

I'm bad news and a lost cause
all rolled into one
I may smile but I'm shattered,
incurable when the day is done.

Colorless...
Loveless...
Useless...
Like these words I pour out.

Emotionless...
Heartless...
Hopeless...
Chained up by demons, too broken to shout
If you want to die slowly my friend
Love a person who doesn't love you back;
You treat her as if she's the first bloom rose
In her eyes you're nothing more than a potato sack.

You'll give her your notes before exams
Even if you don't have a copy for your own;
She's call her special friend right in front of you,
"Can we study together? I can't study alone."

You'll offer help when she looks swamped
As you're about to leave office for the day;
She'll smile and move the paper mountain to your desk
"Thanks! I was so worried I was gonna miss his b'day."

She'll mention how some guy is so awesome
When you're just about to express how you feel;
She'll be texting him about tomorrow's plans
As you're paying the "one way romantic" dinner bill.

There are many ways to **** yourself
I urge you to choose your way wisely;
Find something that'll end it fast
Loving such girls will **** you painfully slowly.
Crushes are meant to crush you.
Did the sea
seem inviting
that day?
The way
it must have
taken your breath
away
for you to
say,

"Ah, here
I'll stay,"

Did you love the
sea more
than air
that day?

As the skies
rumbled,
downpouring
their gentle
guilt
in your tangled
mess of hair,

The way
it trickled down
your smiling face
- into your mouth,
I can almost imagine,

Did the sea
not scream
******
as you divulged
beneath
its rough
edged
waves,

Did you not
claw
towards the
heavens,
Did you not
scream
Until
you were
strangled
alive?

Did you love
the sea so dearly,
to let it's
cold
arms
drag you
to even colder
places.
For a friend and another suicide attempt.

— The End —