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Alifah Ilyana Jul 2018
Clenched teeth.
My heart is beating fast and slow.
The love of my life,
His words,
Were not as beautiful.
And they were,
At the very best,
Un-welcomed in this heart of mine.
I itch for a pencil and a yellow book.
I itch for my tears to fall.
I want my heart to be taken out
I am not him
And I am not his
He is the fairytale
While he is the broken knight.
I am neither and
All I can say is my heart is closed.
As my anger towards only me
Start to consume my headspace.
After the break-up
803 · Jan 2017
It's none of your concern.
Alifah Ilyana Jan 2017
My feelings were none of your concern,
but so are my face expressions,
or the tiny twitches that I make.

My actions were none of your concern,
so are my words, my beliefs, and,
my perspective of anything at all.

My problems were none of your concern,
you hardly have time to hear them.

I am none of your concern,
which is why I try.
I try to be none of your concern.
It's the little things you can't do that ends up bothering you the most.
626 · Nov 2016
In the hands of a poet.
Alifah Ilyana Nov 2016
In the hands of a poet,
Love is a variety of beautiful and dark things.

In the hands of a poet,
Your name may be wind chimes or the scream of a banshee.

In the hands of a poet,
Your actions are either of sin or valour.

In the hands of any other poet,
You are just someone to be played.

As that’s what we do with our toys and words.

But,

If that poet was me,
Love is nothing but light and forever long bliss.

If that poet was me,
Your name is in sync with my steady heartbeat.

If that poet was me,
Your actions are of soft and graceful as the summer breeze.

If that poet was me,
You are love, and neither words nor I can simply play with you.

(A.I.)
An old one in my stash from my blog hehu
Alifah Ilyana Oct 2016
To him, love was her.
But to her, love was another him.
As time goes by,
Feelings changed and so did their commitments.
In the end,
they saw each other as each other's,
made whatever it was,
into what they thought was Love.
So all the watchers could do now,
is wish them well,
with their fake smiles and glaring stares.
What a world we live in,
don't you see?
We are living,
in fear
and
an unfair democracy.
On a whim.
356 · Mar 2017
dearest best friend
Alifah Ilyana Mar 2017
you were a fairy tale really
from your heart till your eyes,
till the crinkle of your smile.

you loved hard without blinking an eye,
and you fell down to the hard ground,
hitting rock-bottom,
everytime.
but still,
you loved.
and you loved hard.

I thought I could be a fairytale as well.
I thought I could love till I was numb,
but I can't.
I'm not a fairy tale.
I do blink an eye when I loved,
and I never let myself hit rock-bottom.

So,
this is for you,
a tribute to you,
your bravery,
your generosity,
and your sense of recklessness.
You still have that crinkle of a smile,
you still have that sparkle in your eye,
and I loved that very thing about you,
But I guess,
you could say,
I wish I were you but I don't think I can ever carry the burden.
Ever, like you.

You were always strong,
and I always seemed strong.

You were always kind but firm,
but I was firmly soft.

You were always reckless but cautious,
but I was reckless without conscience.

I really wish I could take it the way you do,
but I'd settle to be your best friend instead,
the best friend of a seemingly forever lovestruck idiot,
and so ever proud.
to my bestfriend, you'll always be my favourite book.
302 · Jan 2017
My life.
Alifah Ilyana Jan 2017
My life is only mine,
But when I met you,
you claimed it as your own,
adding in some of your strife.

My life is only mine,
but when you crashed in,
you took what I thought was mine,
and replaced it with a plethora of sin.

My life is only mine,
but you're a selfish ******* who wants everything.
A bit of angst? Does this count as angst?
295 · Jan 2017
You.
Alifah Ilyana Jan 2017
It's not fair.

But everyone has to deal with something.

Some people, has to deal with their family,

Others, friends.

A few, themselves.

Me, you.
you, 24/7.
282 · Jan 2017
Strain.
Alifah Ilyana Jan 2017
What a revelation,
slowly understanding you, that is.
Your humility and silence were a thousand words unspoken and unwritten.
Somehow,
I could only imagine the unspoken love you harbour for the unspoken girl.

Such envy I feel, yet,
I shan’t do anything about this envy.
Not this time.
Not ever again.
But wait,
I never did.

Sure,
I say that now,
But maybe,
one day, when we’re older,
and wiser.
I’ll take the chance and ask again.
Break the ice, and melt away the strain.

But here I am,
already attracted to another smile.
A little I wrote in the middle of my first semester, I'm in my second.
263 · Apr 2017
I was wrong.
Alifah Ilyana Apr 2017
I was wrong,
So wrong,
by instincts and hearing,
I was wrong,
I was so terribly wrong.
How could it have too far?
This lonely infatuation,
when I have one by my side.
I shall never think of you again,
lock you in the deepest realms of my heart,
For I am ashamed of the thought of you,
and it shall never happen again.
For that, I apologise.
Alifah Ilyana Nov 2016
Little did we know,
We all have a purpose to be here.

Little did we know,
We are all meant to be weak and will always crave for love.

Little did we know,
We were meant to have these flaws and accept them as perfection.

Little did we know,
We always knew humans were ephemeral.

So, love.

Little did you know,
We were meant to find our God and pray to him.

Little did you know,
We were made weak to search for strength in Him.

Little did you know,
We were made perfect just the way we are.

Little did you know,
We were never meant to be attached to the ephemeral, but only to the Eternal.

But of course,
dear love,
You've always known.
Deep down,
You have always known.

(A.I.)
Another one from another stash of ageing trinkets.
253 · Apr 2017
Perfect
Alifah Ilyana Apr 2017
As I hear the ever-trending song,
it's not my fault that I saw you with every word,
sung by Sheeran,
with his throaty voice.

I hear you with every beat,
I felt your warmth with every breath he took.
How is that ever so possible, when you were not he?

You saw me as perfect,
and I can't help but melt into your arms,
And I can't help but felt loved
by those ever doting arms,
and of course, those eyes.

Those sharp eyes,
I could never deem them as soft,
but that stare,
was the softest I ever seen.
My love,
I'll hold on till I couldn't,
till my hands bruised and purple,
till my breath hitch and wheeze.

I'll hold on till I simply cannot.
ye hear me?

— The End —