I wish I could tell you
Every little thing
I think in my head
But I can't because
They move too fast,
Are too slippery to grasp
And hold onto long enough
To write into lyrical thoughts
Worthy of your time.

They say there are 1,025,109.8 words in the English language
yet none are capable of describing you

None of them are capable of showing your side of pure anger
and the side of caring for the things you like simultaneously

None of them are capable of showing how special you can make me feel
and then make me feel worthless seconds after

None of them are capable of saying how much I hate you
and none are capable of showing how much I love you

And that truly frustrates me

At this point I don't care about anything
Realization hit me like a wave in my face
knocking me down and leaving me lost at sea

I cannot help but feel like a piece of driftwood,
an inanimate object unable to feel any emotion
for you have thrown me out like some sort of trash

but I realize that I meant nothing to you, I only thought
just like I thought you loved me,
or believed you when you said you did

but your words are worthless
their meanings revoked

I am tired of being used
like medicine to cure other people
when I'm unable to cure myself,

I am tired of being thrown to the side
like a crumpled up peace of paper
that once mattered to you,

I am tired of living in a world where
the only people considered your friends
are the ones who are truly your enemies,

I am tired of having to defend myself
for my actions of for my words

I am tired of being tired

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when I was crying at one a.m.
and you were no where to be found.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when I destroyed myself
and you never noticed or asked.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
when you blatantly ignore me
right when I needed you the most.

It became obvious to me
that you no longer cared
about anything having to do with me.

It became obvious to me
that I was just your puppet

It became obvious to me that I had to end it

When I look at the stars
I see someone else
When I look at the stars
I want to see myself