I can remember from childhood
Was the night of that terrible fever
My bed was a plank
Wooden under my spongey bones
My sharp breaths hit my body
From an invisible assailant
Spiked blows to my mattress
That pierced my flesh clean
And punched wind right through my blankets

Then came the hoods
Surrounded my bed in inky blackness
They blotted out the stars
And smothered my night light
Even a young child would
Expect death after such a vision
Only one last shaky breath left
I was almost certain

Then it appeared
Almost angry and fearsome
My fair golden haired champion
A brilliant figure dazzling light
It punctured that dark shroud
Shred it to absolute pieces
And restored me
Back to this life

Don't make me do this
Don't make me hate you
Don't make me feel guilty
Don't say I didn't warn you*

I didn't make you do anything
You absurd impossibility
I didn't prompt your threats
Stop blaming me for your insecurity

That's it I've had enough
You're dripping with toxins
An utter waste of dialogue
I'm done.

Skipping out the door
I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy
If I say it enough could it be more true?

I say it again
Because that's how I cope
But I never imagined I'd be so conflicted

lips taste of lies
skin smells of fear
cheeks flame with shame
eyes swell with sad tears

Oh please

Happiness is not a mantle for use
To hide from painful truths
Nor is it a protective shield
To use on a ****** battlefield

So let the fake seep out on occasion
To make room for real reactions
For then you will find the genuine kind
Will follow in orderly fashion

People look for the fountain of youth
But I am a fountain of words

I wield them like weapons
They slip from my grip
I spend them like bills
They steep me in wealth
I tuck them in my pockets
They spill from my lips
I give them as gifts
They stick in my teeth
I kiss them on cheeks
They slide down my throat
I stack them on shelves
They pile at my feet
I pack them in boxes
They stain my sheets
I burn them to ashes
They pow-

I hope you get it because
This **** is endless and
I forgot where I was going with this

You talk I'll type, no
that's not right
you’re not my dictator and
I'm not your scribe

I love you I hate you
neither seems right
get out of my head since
you're already out of sight

It was your fault it was mine
we laughed I cried
You said you'd be my sun, remember?
but I'd rather hug the night

I like words.
Each is often imperfect alone
But the skill lies
In stringing them together
In just the right order
In just the right way to convey
The galaxy in my mind.

I like words.
They stick smooth to my brain
Like the thinnest decoupage
Every inch neatly covered
Every crevice every crack
Every layer after
Every sheer layer.