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Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
I secretly hope
on the long nights when it feels like the sun will never beam on your face again
that
you'll think of me softly
I pray you'll imagine me reaching for your fingertips
lacing them with my own
maybe you'll remember
me grazing your cheek with the soft part of my small hands
scooping away the tears with my fingertips
doing my best to take all your sadness into my own palms
or my quiet kisses on your delicate cheek
the soft whispers of " I love you"'s and "don't give up on me"'s
the words that you didn't hear with your ears
the words that traveled in a straight shot to the inner workings of your brilliant heart
I hope on these nights
you remember who loves you most in this world
who always will
I hope for the better part of forever, I'm there with you
reminding you someone out there wants the same things you do
My last hope, is believing
that I can still keep you safe
that I'm still your refuge
when the air turns bitter
Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
There is a pit that has made a home in my stomach
it's been living there, growing there
since the day you laid your hands on me
the day you slid your hands to places they had no right to be
the night you took advantage of the position
you knew you had
ever since then there are words that make my head foggy
and there are boys who can put me **** close to cardiac arrest
just by looking
for a little too long
you called it miscommunication
you called it regret
you called it asking for it
I call it assault
I call it waking up at 3 AM every morning
in a cold sweat, another nightmare
I call it scrubbing myself raw every night in the shower
trying to rid of the skin cells your fingers grazed
I call it jumping whenever my kind boy reaches for my hand
out of love
you are a man made of dirt
you are a lion
so why are you preying on butterflies
I don't know when I allowed you to tear off my wings but I am reclaiming them
today.
Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
Lying on the edge of the world in the middle of your bed I swear I feel infinite. Baby, Please, can we stay like this forever? Looking in your eyes has me going crazy. I trace the freckles on your face and run my hands through the wet curls laying on your head. With tangled fingers, shimmered minds and glowing hearts. I never knew love could feel like this. Like the whole world stops spinning just so me and you can pause and dance. My life has begun to feel like a movie ever since I found my place on your arm. I can see the light leaks of old film just looking at your soft face. Oh love, I find myself having to refrain from taking you far away to an old hillside town, I don't mean to be selfish but oh god how I wish you were all mine. my brown eyed baby, no one will ever compare to the radiance you have shown this vacant soul. Amour Amour my darling.
Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
Everyday I reserve a moment
to picture you
to imagine us
to feel your heart
which I know well is
still embedded into my own
I'm aware these few moments of my day can lead to nothing
but troubles, & heartache
because when I open my eyes
you're there
god knows where
& I'm here, nowhere
When I stop to think about why I still take my time to think about you
I can only come up with the reasoning that I still love you
I always will love you
even now, six months later
after the damage is done
after the tears have fallen for so long
I'm worried they may have seeped their way into my heart
Even with the knowledge
of the gut wrenching
heart altering pain
our love brought into my
all dancing and daisy life
even past the break,
the moment I knew the love of my life was never
coming home
I would do it all again
over & over & over
&over
again
just for a taste of that sensation
of us
lying barely clothed wrapped in your embrace
for just a glimpse of
your abysmal brown eyes
for a minuscule moment
of our epic love story
I just thought you should know
there's never regrets in this hallow hallway of my heart
only stubborn love
that grasps at a chance
for one more try
Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
On cold mornings
I always take a few minutes out of everyday to picture what it would feel like if you were still here
I imagine you laying next to me
holding my hand
kissing my forehead
on really cold mornings I swear I can still feel your touch
but when the minutes are up
I open my eyes
& you're there
& I'm here
its heartwrenching and horrendous
but that is the reality of this fairytale
Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
Oh how you'll never know how much I miss you
I should have held you a little longer every night we shared
I should have snuck a bottle of your cologne to spray through all my clothes
I should have let you kiss me when we were fighting
I should have hugged you tighter
I should have hugged you tight
our ribs connected so we could never part.
I should have gone to war for you
that night
I should have turned you around
made you stay
Why'd you leave lover?
Now theres a permanent icy spot
on the left side of my bed
on the left side of my heart
& you my love
you were my right hand
all the better parts of me
are intertwined in my mess of loving you
no one comes close lover
no one comes close
Abby Reynolds Sep 2018
how sad
how infuriating
most of all
how pathetic
it is
to know
that still, today, after everything
I'm still stuck in the mud that is your love
i'm still here, praying
in the end
it'll be me and you
it'f funny because
I convinced myself after you finally left I'd be able to move forward
but today, I lay, alone.
my bruises, faded.
my tears, dried.
& my skirt had been dusted from all the remains of you
so why in hell
do I still feel like this?
Paralyzed...
I'm bound to a person
who turns his head at my phone calls
I know I know
I should be so far gone by now.
I even know I deserve better.
but it doesn't seem to stop me
I wake each morning
I dream each night
I make the choice everyday
to sit in our spot
& wait for your return

- When are you coming home?
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