Tick tock
The clock ticking, your heart aching
Knock​ knock
The time has arrived, your soul shaking
Dig dug
Heart beating faster than before
Klak klak
Eyes looking at beautiful creature
Snap snap
You lower your body, I'm confused
Will you?
Words come out from your mouth
I do
I say, crying.

it follows me during the day
quietly resting in the morning
slowly awaking in the afternoon

i take a pill at noon
it takes a nap again

but by the evening
my thoughts are scrambled
my fingertips raw
bleeding from the edges

preoccupied with my thoughts
distant and out of touch

i escape to be alone
but i find myself alone
with the four corners of my mind
and i escape again
to my friends
to my work
to my safe places

but i always find myself alone
with the four corners of my mind

where do i run to now

fireworks,
that's how you explained it
when we kissed
such beautiful sparks
set us free

every year
july 4th
your family
celebrated our freedom
with fireworks too

you told me
they asked which color
you wanted to be the
finale
this time you chose
blue

you told me
it was like the
blue in my eyes
that you couldn't get enough of

now
there's no longer
us
just the
boom
of the
fireworks
and the breaking
of my
heart

i should've known
he had
blue eyes
too

i'm nothing special.
i'm just a collection of thin bones and heavy thoughts.
people think i'm special.
and they get to know me
only for me to teach them that i'm a bother.
i'm a bore and i'm sad.
i'm distant and i'm best at pushing people away.
i want to explore but i'm terrified
and they think i'm not interested.
i'm bland and i'm dying.
i don't matter. i'm just matter.

You roll your eyes
Tut at me
Like I've somehow forgotten my place
Suddenly too big for these lines you drew around me
And now I am a threat  
Words like razor blades
Of truth and equality
Too sharp for you to swallow.

But it was you.
It was you who forgot your place long ago
When a woman's right to defend herself
Was deemed less important than your ego.

I will always burst out the seams
Of these stitches that spell compliance
You thread into my female skin.

in love,
I was never
afraid of falling

I was only afraid
of the moment
when my body
hits the ground