Most days I am sad.
Most days I am swallowed whole by my emotions; Most days I am consumed by the darkness.
But I cannot leave.
I am enamored of the silence.
I am obsessive about the sorrow.

Rumi once said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

You once said,
sleep is for the weak
and I feel like Achilles
limping across the battleground of your
subconscious; eyes half shut
are eyes half open.
How long will it be
before I too drift into
the limbo of your nights
and forgotten
when you awake?

So tired of begging
And pleading
For your precious time

Just a simple conversation
Would ease
My worried mind

But here I sit
Alone
Once more

And even though
You are near
Our souls could not
Be farther apart

Words seem insincere

I know it may be difficult
Or impossible
To understand

But if you felt
The pain in my heart
You would know
Without a doubt

Control is not
What I seek

I only need your hand.

- Brandi R Lowry

missing you hits me in waves and right when I think I'm swimming I drown again

some people already have a view, a light over the horizon.
their feet are dipped into an ocean that holds many of their secrets,
but they become bored with the mundane & seek more meaning to their existence.
perhaps someone else's ocean will taste differently.
perhaps they'll finally learn how to swim.
willing hearts & open hands accept these travelers because maybe they're an adventurer just like me.
but really they're just passing through.
they only want to experience new flavors, to swim in unknown seas.
they need to escape but they'll never leave.
cowards perhaps, to temporarily give up the comfort of the river and sink into the oceans' depths.
but the ocean is not quiet & neither is the wind.
she will shred your sails & sink your ship.
she will not forget how you stirred her waves into a tsunami and left her there to drown.
when the night becomes indifferent, seek change first within yourself.
you will never find light in another if you do not love your own hands.
do not take arms you know you will eventually let go of.
do not awaken hearts you cannot call your home.

and so we go on. and the ocean waits alone, for the next light on the horizon.

Something between us came and gone...
..,
Thought it was love or lust or desire
...
But if love comes to our hearts with worry!
...
It does not leave or knows to end the furry!!
...
Tis only a cloud with a drift passing by ...
....
In a dry desert with a hot sun in the sky ..
....
My sweat of love evaporated off my skin ..,
...,
My blood dried out and my heart stopped beating ...
....
I am not like yesterday.. My love is cured ..
...
One side pulling on the rope.. won't tighten the love even if the rope is tight ...
...
I dont deny that my love became heavy on the one I desire ..
...
There lyes my heart dead engulfed in flame and fire ...
...
She came and weeped at my heart crying really hard ..,

She said forgive me Bassam .. "I am too cold"
...
Her tears started dribbling down a little stream to my heart nub ...
....
And suddenly she heard my heart say "lub ... dub"
...
And some how my heart recouped from death absorbing its sorrow ...
....
It's started to beat with hopes of love and desires of tomorrow...
...
It rose in hopes of love of golden yarrow
...
She was happy to see me and wiped her tears ...
...
She said .., "Let's start a new beginning free of dismay and jeers" ...
...
"And endless love without delay"
...
"Away from false hopes and blame"

"Something with lust and without shame!"

I said "I am here ... my love is tamed!

"Take me on with lust ordained"

"I admit to you that my love has changed"
..
She said "Forever now ... you are locked within" ...