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someone told me time heals everything
but time is not gluing my heart together and fixing the spaces where you belonged
time is not erasing the image of your body, lifeless and cold
time is not healing anything
all time does is stall.
For Pat Stone*

            I remember you from a time once before dinosaurs roamed
the city streets, reeking of peach scented candles and boxed wine,
yearning for some sort of darkness.
            Reading from the novels of Stephen King as if they
were revisions of the bible.
            Who found darkness in a mammogram and shoved it into
her pocket along with the rusty brooches and earrings.
            Who lost love with an aneurysm.
            Who lost love with withering age.
            Who lost love with pneumonia.
            Where the remainder of her loved only existed in her short,
black hair growing from the roots of the past.
            Where her eyes look back onto the golden infinity known as
the old cornfield next to the big red barn of Mid-Western-Minnesotan  
conformity.
            Of the calls made to mother regarding how she'll die each time 
she notices something new.
            Who cried with me when mother had left me for sailing the sky.

            Oh, she was the mother.
            The mother of a generation much like mine.
            The mother who was the domestic wife in her natural habitat of
pots, pans and aprons.  
            The mother who was softer than the belt.
            The mother who kept family gatherings illuminated with award
winning short stories of brother, brother or sister.
            The mother who dealt with apocalypse that was Karen Grenier
as a child.
            The mother who did it.
            The mother who created lives and the mother who took death
as one of her daily pills.

            Brother, brother and sister now out the door, gone to make
their marks.
            The mother who was left only to mother the darkness in tastes of
boxed wine and Stephen King.
 Apr 2015 Tina Marie
Ordinary
dream
 Apr 2015 Tina Marie
Ordinary
usually i can't remember how my dreams begin, but this one is different

I remember walking you home and kissing you goodnight

is because that its not a dream at all?

or had our beginning started long before either of us knew it
I stand here in the shadows
Protected by a white veil already ridden with fear
Watching as my own people are culled in the abattoir they called home
By men who call themselves my brothers
Yet they find fulfilment and contentment in killing one of their own
For not being one of their own
Yet with each day that passes our battle is the same
Scars left by the very veil that now shields me
I too had begun to call this land home
My heart feels very stab inflicted on my people
Every image indented into my mind widening the wound
My vocabulary incapacitated at the feeling of betrayal
Unsure of who I can now call my brother
i am a foreign student in south africa and to say i am hurt by the xenophobic attacks would not be a true reflection of the pain i feel. #StopXenophobia
 Apr 2015 Tina Marie
Anastasia
I used to find comfort
In darkness,
Silence,
Isolation.

But now your presence follows me
Through the night.
You cast silver shadows on my walls,
Ghastly fingers reaching for
The windowpanes

Trying

Desperately to break in.

Even the thickest of curtains
Can’t keep you out.

I am never alone
A sliver of light
Is always there
Reminding me
You are
Here too.
Two days is a long time to have you back in my
digital life, and I don't know if unblocking you
is even worth it.

Because I'll be too scared to look at who
you've become, but I know you'll see my
existence in it's entirety.

I'm afraid of you, love.
I'm afraid of your love.
I'm afraid of love.
I'm afraid.
 Apr 2015 Tina Marie
Lauren Cole
My fingers curl around the pen
A silent plead
The only thing I need
Is to know where you've been

Tapping it against my temple
Hour after hour
Don't cower
I've only just begun to lose my mental

Let the silent flow know
Behind this pain
My strength speaks volumes
Waves can manipulate a crowd
To follow you

Gentle vengeance against a series
of unfortunate events
The suspense is what gets you
Not the multiple texts
Nor the 'I don't care' pretense
I've sent

If you'd just spent hours
Waiting on me
you'd be angry
But you see
I'd rather be
pain free

The beginning of a phone call
is the end to all
we've been through
The sweet relief of a phone line
click
without an "I love you"
Full of rage and hopeful. Weird combo.
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