I lie awake with thoughts of you occupying my mind

And I know that dialing those ten familiar numbers would get you here in a matter of minutes because it’s only 2:04am and you rarely ever sleep before 3.

But I will forbid myself to pick up the phone

Because although I would love to feel safe and secure I know it will just make it harder in the end.

How can I be at home yet feeling so incredibly homesick?


I try again to remember blissful moments

Moments before things got complicated and stressful

Like when you traveled thousands of miles to meet my little brother.

Or when we danced at a country bar in a small town to music we didn’t even know and enjoyed the company of people twice our age.

Or memorizing each other’s orders at every café, breakfast bar and ice-cream shop we went to.


I try to remember occasions before the shadows of your past made constant appearance in your character,

And those very shadows caused the very arguments that broke the one thing I was sure couldn’t be broken.


Now it’s 2:12am and nothing’s changed,

Just another night spent obsessing over what used to be.


R.M.

Maybe I'm Just
A Little Afraid
That Whenever
Someone Gets
A Little Closer
To Me,
They Always Have
To Leave Me
And Find Someone
Better,
Always.

i loved you everyday
of my existence,
and you loved me less
each day up until i died
of not enough love.

i rose again in the next
life and loved a fragment
of you.

mom & everyone hates
me now, and all i do is
sit in the corner of
my lightless, cold, brutal
mind and carve images of
words that mad me cry all
over these arms.

Run away with me for a
day. Let's go to a place
that's surrounded by
mountains and a lot of
green forest trees. A place
where the flowers will sigh
and blush when they see
us kiss and touch. A place
where we'll get to be the
normal us. Away from the
public away from the law.
Away from those with judging
eyes and the haters dressed
in disguise. Let's run away
so far away. Where we could
kiss and hug. And talk about
our dreams with passion to
one another. A place where
I could scream the words of
I love you out loud while I
feel so confident and proud.
A place where you'll take my
hand and count to three. Lean forward and ****** a kiss
from me. A place where we'll
make a little bonfire and
have some coffee and tea.
Stare for hours at the blue
skies. Watch the dandelion
seeds and pollen grains float
away up high. Wait for the
stars to come out at night.
Where we'll be the only
audience waiting to watch
the show they'll pull on. The
only lovers up late in the
open wild. The only ones
who'll appreciate the light
they'll radiate in the dead
of night as they'll shine
bright in the dark
skies* ~

Constantly Drunk On
The Thought Of Thinking
Why,
You'd Actually Want To
Be With A Miserable,
Lonely, Drunk Boy
Like Me.