Blissful silence in the dark
Breathing sounds could be heard from afar
As i got closer it got louder
In the pitch black room
All around me was darkness
The breathing got rougher and louder
With a mourn mixed in here and there....
I could feel strength leaving my body
Daring myself to move closer


In the pitch black room
I could make out figures
Looking like an enormous beast
Devouring its prey
Swallowing it whole
I lost the strength to run
Or scream
A shouting heart jolting my trans mind
Like a rolling rock on a steep *****
I Moved forward


In the pitch black room
Right in-front of me ......
A scene i couldn't fathom
Two silhouettes panting and mourning
Even without a clear picture
Even without the sound
One couldn't help but swallow a mouthful
Of saliva
This hunger inducing scene played out
As my heart started racing
A bright light flashed blinding me


In a now bright room
The two seemed unaffected
Like the illumination from the light
Wasn't visible to them
I could clearly see a figure
A figure so thirst inducing
One could mistaken it for aphrodite
And wen she mourned
A sweet melody
Compared to that of the music of apollo
Lost in the beauty of this beauty
And the melody she was creating
I heard a name
As she said it again
I opened my eyes


Opening my eyes to gaze into hers
They seemed to blaze with a flame
One that felt inextinguishable
One that would devour any soul that came close
This beautiful yet dangerous flame
I knew if i went close there is no coming back
Yet a deep sense of belonging came from within
A cold yet familiar sensation was flowing through me
She moved her down my chest
As it moved i felt it.....
For the first time
Pure craving
Like an electric current running thru me
Leaving chaos in its wake


Like a drum-roll
My heart cried out
With it melting the cold sensation
Like a beast unleashed
My body was brimming with strength
Moving my hands towards her
Like a black hole
Like Jormungand
Every cell in me was screaming
Shouting
And scratching
Trying to heed her call
Getting ready to devour her
Swallow her whole
N show her how deep the abyss went

İ woke up with an aching heart
Soaked in a flood
Only to realise it was salty
İ could feel my heart strings tightening
What really happened?


Tip toeing down memory lane
İt started flooding back
Unlike the one i woke up in
This one was bitter
What the hell is going one?


The bitter taste in my mouth lasted forever
As my chest became tighter
Gasping for breath
As if fighting with my body
İ remembered
İ now knew what had happened.


The foggy memory had cleared
As bright as day
For all to see
The reason for my tears
The reason for my pain
The reason i woke up half alive
İ had lost you
Without word or warning


The nights became darker
No stars no moon no light
The days became unbearable
As if left in the middle of a Desert
İf i couldn't have have you
Then death would be my solution
And as i jumped off a cliff
Just before i hit the ground
İ woke up soaked
İn a sea of tears
But at least in this life i still had you
And I smiled
What a awful nightmare

It had been a while
Even tho no tears were shed
I could feel it was a wound tt would possibly leave a huge scar
I had no bad intentions when i said it
I had no ill meaning when i did it
I did it out the pure feeling of longing
Out of the innocent feeling of yearning
If i had to mke an apology
I would be apologising for loving a woman like a lil girl


It was all love at first
And that love kept growing n spiraling out of control
Every Time my hrt beat ...... i swear i could feel it ...... as if its about to break through the cage
Every Time i put my hand on my chest it was as if im trying to calm a mad dog down
A feeling i loved n hated
Cause Every Time it reminded me of how deep it was
How deep the wound was gonna be
As i kept replaying the worst case scenario in my head
And making more rush decisions
In a sad attempt to protect my heart


In the end it didn't hurt
At least not at the moment
But the longer i sat there the more i could feel the wound opening
As if its about to rip my hrt in 2
I clutched at my chest
Held on for dear life
The laughter echoed in the empty starry nyt
Reminisce of a broken heart
No, a broken mind
As i sat there feeling regret from the words protect your heart.

I had a dream
A beauty unlike any other
She had had the eyes of a goddess
That seemed to see thru me
As if I was an open book in front of her
I looked into her eyes
And I couldn't help but smile
As her sweet voice rang in my dream

I had a dream
The only time I felt at peace was next to her
When she held me I could feel all the weight on my shoulders vanish
Atlas reincarnate
Her warmth gave me the feeling of home
And  her sweet voice rang in my dream

I had a dream
She was in tears
My heart fell apart
When I realized I was the cause
My very being trembled
For no reason in the world would make me hurt her
I could feel that my cheeks were wet
When I looked down to see
Her doubting voice rang in this nightmare

I had a dream
I had her in my arms
She felt vulnerable
For someone so strong
Leaning against me for a change
My heart skipped a beat
I felt loved

I'm having a dream
Where home is her
My sweet dream
How much I care for her
How happy I am
How I don't want to wake up
Mon ange hold me forever

with a flick of his wrist
they danced around
in the palm of his hand
stood an army
awaiting orders

just the tremors of his voice
they trembled
on their knees
bowing down  to their king
awaiting orders

a king of his own design
toying with lives
a chef and his ingredients
the preparation was done
the game had began

the sun no longer shined
it became dark
the whole world was about to feel her wrath
as her screams could be heard
her fury could be felt

crackling sounds of lighting could be heard within
the dark cloud grew larger
one look and one could tell a storm was brewing
what had seemed like a sunny day turned dark and solemn
one push
one button
and over the edge, she goes

final stroll
the noise around him drowned her cries
he couldn't make a word of what she said
it seemed the storm had passed
closing his eyes to breathe
with a shatter, she broke
and all hell broke loose

A stinging sensation
Similar to that of a bunch ats having their way with you
A burning unscramble itch
Simlar to that of a couple bee stings
The uncontrollable feeling of anger
Like acid meet metal
Fumes and bubbles
Smoke everywhere
Ready to ignite watever comes close
This burning hot feeling
This uncontrollable yearning for something that someone has
Could it be?

An ordinary morning
Noise everywhere
Not wanting to get out of bed
An errie feeling crept up to me
Like a sense of dejavu
Telling to stay down
Dont get up
It felt like a thousand bugs
Crawling under my skin
Wat i opened my eyes to
Is this the reason why u shouldn't check your phone in the mrng?
Could this feeling be wat i think?

Wait.....it could be it
But why
I hve no reason to be
We never had anything to begin with
Then why does my heart feel like this
Like a rag doll..... bound in twine
Untill the thread is almost cutting in
Then like a yoyo
Thrown around only to come back to the thrower to be thrown again
Like a soccer ball being passed around teammates
Only for the striker to give it a more powerful kick
Every second i looked
The string got tighter
And as i closed my eyes in thought
I could taste blood in my mouth
What irony
My head laughed
But only the sound of gritting teeth could be heard
As i endured the tugs froms my hrt
Yes this was it
Its the conclusion i came to
Yes indeed
It was jealous

I wish I could keep you longer
Missing you has left my once linear like mind
Jumbled up like a jigsaw puzzle  
Paranoia starts getting the best of
My heart longs for a longer kiss
I still hear your heart beat in my head
I still feel u breathing on me
I still feel ur touch in my dreams
I just need you by my side longer
Without  you its hard to survive
Missing you is the best and worst feeling imaginable

I wanna look into your eyes longer
I wanna talk to u longer
I wanna hold you longer
I feel like the longer i hold u the saner i become
You are the blink to my eyes
Oh how i long to hold you again

Your voice keep replaying in my head
Like a melody playing again and again
Leave a new maze of complicated feelings
And thoughts through  each play
Please hold me longer

I've become a prisoner in my own head
The longer i stay ther the harder it is to discern reality from fantasy
I just crave for your arms
I just wanna hear your voice
I just wanna see you smile
I just wanna hear u laugh....
Ohh how i wish i could keep you longer
Its sad you have to go
Its excruciating that i know you have to go
I just wanted to lay nxt to u even for a sec longer

Im a coward
The thought of stating my feelings
Brings me to my knees
The thought of telling her how i feel
Makes my legs shake
And my heart skip a beat

Im a coward
Constantly running away from my heart
Waiting too long to state wats in my heart
Then live with regret for the rest of my my days

What pains isnt the fear
What breaks me
Is i hve made a home in my cage
I have started to feel comfortable in my fear
I have learnt to live with my regrets
Such a coward

I can only dream of my life without
I can't stand it
But thats who i am

I want the sky to nolonger blind my eyes
I want the earth to nolonger bury my heart
I want all beings to understand my mind
I want to devour all the gods
I want all mankind to disappear

Gazing into the distant future,
Heart warming comfort,
A wild fire set ablaze;
All curved deep in her eyes.

Golden brown the colour of Gods;
With the light at the right angle you can see heaven,
An Angel amoung men;
Eyes of such beauty can melt the coldest of hearts;

Eyes that allow you to gaze into the stars;
they glow with such vibrancy;
My heart skipped a beat just looking into them;
Such a masterpiece,
The Lord took his time to create;

Do not close thy eyes my beloved;
For even a blink is a waste of such beauty;
Cast not thy eyes away from me,
I am afraid for the darkness to come ,
For your are the light of my heart;
stay by me always.

You don't know what it's like
Do you?
It's like being sick without knowing what you are sick with
Feeling pain without knowing what's wrong or how to stop it
bleeding without an open wound
it's like having a problem you cant solve

No word can possibly describe the way I feel
My heart hurts..... It's killing me
And yet I don't know why
All the horrible feelings I can think of piled on one person
For a reason, no one knows

I'm drowning in sorrow
Yet no one is there to rescue
I cant't come up with a solution
A solution to an unknown problem
You really have no idea how it's like

You have no idea
Non at all!
To hate every second of your life
To hate every cell in your body
To hate your very existence
Now tell me!
Tell me if you think you know
Tell me it's not the end of the world
Tell me a brighter day will come
Because that's the advice everyone gives to people like me
Because that's the advice you all think we deserve

Yes I hate life
Because nothing good has come out of  it
My personality changes with every heartbeat
Every breath I take I'm a different person
Tell me you know how it feels
Tell me it's all gonna be okay
Cause those are the lies everyone has told

Let the rain fall down on me
Let it cool down all the anger in me
Like it cools down the the hot ground after a harsh summer
Let it soften my heart
Like it does to the rock hard dry ground
After a brutal sun burn

Let the rain fall down on me
Let it clean my soul
like it does to the dusty streets after a windy day
let it raise my joy
like the water levels rise after a heavy rain

let the rain fall down on me
let it spring new life in me
like it does to the dead plants after the first rain
let it put everything in order
like it restores the earth every time it rains

let the rain fall down on me...

Life is a crossword puzzle
Of love and freedom
For every twist and turn
Lift and drop
You are asked to choose

Love is like the stars
So far up in space
Yet they fill the night sky with their beautiful glow
One can choose to look up and adore their beauty
Or simply choose to ignore it
But sooner or later
One point or the other
We are all gonna look up
Adore their beauty
And enjoy their presence

freedom is like the sea
So beautiful when calm
Yet salty and dangerous
With deadly and amazing creatures living in it
One can struggle and sink
Or relax and float
You can enjoy the water
Or become food to the beasts that ravage it
It can be cool when its hot
And warm when its cold
that's the beauty of the sea
and that's the beauty of freedom

love at first sight


the wind was blowing your hair
the sun brightened your glow
and my mind told me to bow
that was love at first sight

when i first stared into your eyes
i thought i had seen an angel
the first word you said
left a mark in my heart
this new feeling i had was like drowning
drowning me in the blessed lake of love

the way you said my name
felt like music to my ears
it was like i'm hearing it for the first time
and the bright light in your eyes
became the reason my heart beats
the reason i wake up every morning
that's when i knew i was in love
that's when i knew it was love at first sight

I don't regret the Rain
or those nights I felt the pain
or tears I cried
most of the time along the way
for every-time my heart would break
It was just something....
A road I had to take
A road I had to take to get to you